


Behind the Mask

by levijustwow



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Armin and Hange friendship, Depression, Eren Yeager Has Heterochromia Iridum, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Secrets, Singer Eren, Slow Build, Social Anxiety, Trust Issues, journalist levi, perspective change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-03-01 10:28:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 38,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2769674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/levijustwow/pseuds/levijustwow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hidden behind a black mask rimmed with gold the brunette sings, capturing the attention and curiosity of his growing number of viewers as they ask the question 'Who is the boy behind the mask?' It isn't long until the journalist industries begin their search to find out the boys identity and uncover the face behind the mask.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Growing Fame

**Author's Note:**

> So guys this is my first contribution to the fandom that i have actually posted.  
> It also hasn't been beta'd so please keep that in mind and point out any issues and ill try and fix them all up if i can.
> 
> So this first chapter is in a different point of view compared to the later chapters which will mostly all be in Eren's point of view so you can keep that in mind if you want to C: 
> 
> I hope that you all enjoy it and continue to read it as i produce more chapters, which hopefully wont take me too long because i am currently on break.  
> Also there is a song in here already and if any of you want to know what it is here is a link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyLQjMC2Q38 also in the song in the parts where they say she i would have Eren saying he, so yeah C:  
> So thankyou again~

Chapter 1: Growing Fame

Eren stood in front of the mirror staring into his own reflection, he tried to avoid looking at himself as much as possible but as much as he wanted to avoid it, it was a daily occurrence. Every morning he would get up after laying in bed for an extra hour or so before he was able to pull himself from the heap of blankets on his bed.  He would then make his way to the bathroom and stare at his reflection before pulling out a small black case. 

His contact lens. 

Singular contact lens. 

Not that he needed it to see at all, in fact it was just simply a colored contact. Well simple enough that he still had to go to his optometrist and get them per-scripted to him before he was able to wear them. Each year he had to get his eyes re-tested to make sure everything was alright but other than that they didn't mind handing them to either him or Mikasa over the counter when his ran out which happened every month or so. 

The only people to ever know about Eren wearing a contact were his mother, father and his two childhood friends. Everyone else thought the ocean green was his one and only natural eye color.  

When he was born Eren was found to have heterochromia. His mother loved his eyes very much and always told her son how special he was, telling him constantly that an angel had touched him and given him a special gift by making his right eye a golden yellow. He to treasured his eyes until he began school and the other children would tease him about it. That was when his mother took him out and they invested in contacts but because of his love for his ocean colored eye they had a contact specifically made to match his original eye color even though it hide the gold his mother loved so deeply.Though the torment only happened at school around the house Eren would often walk around without his contact in which brought a smile to his mothers face because she was still able to see the eyes the world had trusted upon her son. 

It wasn't until years later that he lost the strongest figure in his life died he begin to keep his eyes covered almost constantly. Even more so once his father left them as well on an overseas business trip in which he still has not returned. But still In his opinion his mother was the only one whom he trusted most when concerning the secret of his eyes so once she passed he became nervous about showing his eyes, though around Mikasa and Armin it was alright since they had known since the beginning and never once questioned him about his decisions on the matter. That he was thankful for.

 

Opening the black case he picked up the contact and bought it to his eye before using the other hand to hold up his eyelid before he put it into place. With so many years practice i didn't take him very long to put in and out anymore whereas the first time he tried to put them in he got frustrated and it took about 4 tries before it was comfortably sitting in place. 

Today was one of the rare days where he went without wearing the contact. Today they had been filming.

He put down the black case on the bathroom counter and walked back into his room switching on his computer before scooping up a hoodie from the floor. Eren lifted it to his face giving it a quick sniff to be safe.  _Seems fine to me._ Before he pulled it over his head, shaking the hair out of his eyes.  The sound of the computer finally notifying him it was ready for use made him smile as he pulled out the wheeled chair Armin brought him claiming it was better than the plastic one he had been previously using. 

Eren sat slouched in his small desk chair, clicking away. Armin had been helping him edit the latest recording but he had run off down the street to get pies from the bakery before they shut. It was 6.17pm now so Armin should have been back, but knowing him he’d probably found one of his many friends and was in an in depth conversation about how the human mind operates under stress or what not. Who knows really, the kid was too smart for his own good.

Eren sat changing the format of the video for the next 5 minutes before YouTube allowed him to upload.

**48 minutes until upload is complete.**

A hum of disapproval left his throat at the amount of time it took for a video of about 4 minutes to upload, it was ridiculous but then again it wasn't Eren’s fault the Wi-Fi was so crappy. The Wi-Fi had only been renewed like a week ago and it had already mostly been used up, most likely from the amount of videos he watched while Armin and Mikasa were out.

Eren pulled an iPad out from the draw in his desk and went straight to their YouTube channel and started reading through some of the latest comments, though it did take a while to load. Eren noted that most of the comments were people fan-girling over him, or trying to figure out who he was. After all, all three of them did wear wigs and a mask that covered most of their faces. It had been one of Eren’s conditions to creating a YouTube, being anonymous. It came as no surprise to Armin and Mikasa though since Eren was socially awkward and was scared of being around large groups of people, one thing he definitely didn't want was for people to recognize him. It was Mikasa's idea for him to have his natural eyes revealed while he sang to because he didn't go around with his eyes shown so people wouldn't notice him if he ever went out because of his eyes. This also took a large amount of convincing on Mikasa's part but eventually she had Eren agree to it. 

Clicking his tongue Eren read over the negative comments people had left, they didn't bother him as much as they used to. There’s always going to be people who don’t like you, he was just grateful to not have to face them all in person.

**Drybriff23** : I dont get wats so bloody great! wont even show ur face fag

**Cannk** : why bother uploading videos your pretty crap

**Assofgod** : why dont you show your face kid, you think your just some hot shot don’t ya. Asswipe

**domi72** : I can't get over this kids eyes, they are so stunning. Especially the golden one! 

Eren hit the comments button and jotted down a quick thank you letting them know he appreciated the comments on his eyes. Even if he kept them hidden in person it was still nice to receive compliments whether be it by a random stranger who he would never meet or not. 

 

A click of a door brought Eren out of the world of technology as he realised Armin must have gotten back, which meant food. With the promise of food that wasn't salt n vinegar crisps Eren made his was downstairs, tapping on Mikasa’s door on the way.

“Mikasa I think Armin’s home you coming down?”

“Yeah Yeah give me a minute”

“Alright then” _Probably talking to Annie again._ Eren thought as walked into the kitchen where Armin was laying the table, a box full of pies sitting in the center still in their original box.

“Hey Arm, what took you so long?”

“Hmm? Oh Hanji was out getting coffee so I talked to her for a bit. Something about getting another snake.”

“Hanji’s the crazy one right?” Armin nodded and pointed over to the table, Eren took a seat and pulled out one of the pies, not caring what type it was. After all a pie was a pie, all of them were good, especially with tomato sauce which they currently had none of, Eren had checked at lunch time when his stomach was begging for food.

“Not crazy Eren, just … enthusiastic I guess”

“Sure whatever” shrugging his shoulders Eren brought his pie up to his mouth and took a bite. _Hmmmmm Steak and mushroom, not as good as curry chicken though._ “Why are you so friendly to everyone anyway? Don’t you get fed up of them?”

Armin looked up from eating his own pie and smiled across the table. “It doesn't hurt to make friends Eren, you've just got to give people a chance. There will always be people that you don’t get along with but if you don’t take risks in looking for friends you’ll never find any.”

“I've got friends.”

“Eren you have like what 2 friends? Mikasa and I, you need to get out talk to people more instead of staying locked up in your room every day. It’s not healthy.” Armin’s face showed general concern in Eren’s actions as he spoke. “I know you are weary of people Eren I completely understand that but maybe it would be good for you to make some new friends. Try and open up to people a bit more.”

“Maybe...” Eren sighed. “I do leave the house by the way.” Eren glanced up to meet Armin’s gaze.

“Well I guess your right but that’s only for singing and filming right? You never go out and have genuine fun.”

“I have fun while I’m singing and filming so I don’t need to go out for anything else.” Eren picked up his pie and finished eating as Mikasa appeared in the door way, red scarf wrapped loosely around her neck. She pulled out a chair and sat down next to Eren and picked up a pie with some sort of green leafage on top. _Trust her to pick out the healthy looking one._

“Sorry I was on the phone to Annie” _New it._

Armin nodded “That’s fine don’t be silly.” There was a second of silence before Armin spoke again. “Hey Mikasa … let’s take Eren out” His voice full of determination, he turned and looked at Mikasa waiting for a response.

“WAIT WAIT. I don’t want to go out, let’s just stay home and do something here, yea?” Eren’s voice came out quickly as he thought about being stuck in a crowd of people pushing him around, all the voices loud and demanding. Cold shivers ran down his spine.

Mikasa shook her head and Eren felt his throat tighten. “I think Armin’s right. You need to get out of the house” her gaze narrowed as she looked at Eren as if challenging him to try and argue. “One day won’t hurt you Eren, at least a few hours or something might be what you need.”

“But Mika-”

“Eren. Stop and listen to me for a moment okay?” Eren nodded and looked back down at his plate. _I’m not hungry anymore and I was looking forward to another pie._

“Armin and I have been talking about it for a while now because we are worried about you… While I’m at work and Armin is doing his course you stay at home isolating yourself form everyone outside. When we were younger you loved being outside, you loved playing with everyone and you were friends with just about every kid in the neighborhood. We know after mum died and Dad left you lost confidence and you’re scared to put your trust in people in case the same thing happens as Dad did but it’s unhealthy.” Eren kept his face down as he let her words sink in. _I know I’m doing the wrong thing but I’m scared to take the risks, I don’t trust anyone anymore how can she expect me to._

“I … We” she looked at Armin and he nodded. “We know you don’t want to Eren but maybe it would be fun, you might even enjoy yourself.”

“Look I dunno guys…” Eren rested his head in his hands and leaned against the table, gently running his fingers through his hair.

“Eren?” Armin spoke in a soft voice catching Eren’s attention. “Let’s go out tomorrow, there’s a bar just up the road. Maybe we could just have a drink or two or something?”

“But Armin…” Eren’s voice was came out like a whine of a small child not getting what they wanted at the supermarket.

“Good then its settled.” Mikasa declared rising from her chair and picking up the used plates before the two boys. “Armin and I will be home the usual time Eren so make sure you’re dressed and ready to leave tomorrow night at 5.” A mischievous look took over her face. “Oh and make sure you at least brush your hair for once, it’s getting long it’s all over the place.”

Eren ran a hand through the hair against the back of his neck, feeling how thick it had gotten since the last time he had gotten it cut. “Guess it is huh?” His two childhood friends just smiled at him as they finished packing up the mess from their meal. “Do you think I should get it cut?”

Armin shook his head “Definitely not, it suits you it just needs … to be brushed. And washed. When was the last time you had a shower?” _Like over a week ago_ Eren thought.

“Hmm? Just the other day” Eren said turning away trying to make it less obvious to the blond he was lying but obviously Armin knew him much better than that.

“Oh really somehow I don’t believe you.”

“Okay okay, I get it. I’ll have a shower okay. Happy now?”

The small blond giggled a bit as he spoke. “Certainly” Armin nudged his shoulder against Eren’s and tilted his head in the direction of the kitchen motioning him to follow. As the two boys walked into the kitchen they found Mikasa still cleaning away, she had taken on the motherly role over the boys and liked to make sure she held the household and its height herself. Which Eren and Armin didn't agree with. Eren turned his head to face Armin the same time as the blond turned to face him both of their faces held smirks as Eren held up a finger. And a second. Then as he held up a third-

“Mikasaaaaaa” Both boys spoke in the same tone of voice, annoying, loud and whiny to get her attention.

“Hmm?” she turned around to face them revealing a small apron wrapped around her waist to prevent her clothes from dirtying.

Eren crossed his arms against his chest. “If I have to leave the house you have to stop cleaning up after us and let us help you with the jobs around the house a bit more.”

Mikasa tried her best to glare at the two boys but broke into a smile after looking at the determined looks on their faces. “Fine.” She spoke her voice dripping with defeat as she un-tied the apron around her waist. She stood for a moment before throwing it at Eren a grin of satisfaction on her lips. “You clean, Armin can dry”.

Eren caught the apron in his arms and narrowed his gaze. We didn't mean tonight he thought. But it seemed Armin had other plans as he had already picked up some of the dishes Mikasa had already cleaned and was drying them off with one of the purple tea towels Mikasa had brought when they were on sale. _Guess I’ll clean then._

Just a few minutes later all three of them were standing around the desk in Eren’s room watching their latest video. It had only been online for about 20 minutes but the views were growing at an insane rate. They knew their channel was quite popular but reaching over 15000 views in that time was something they had never had on their channel before.

Their latest video was of Eren singing ‘Satellites’ by James Blunt. After hearing his songs on the radio a few years back Eren had become addicted to him so he pre-ordered all his work before it came out. It was the way he sung, and the emotion behind the words that had grasped his attention it was also a bonus that they lyrics were well thought out. As with most songs Eren sung he made a few changed to the lyrics to make them suit his style, both Mikasa and Armin were worried that people wouldn't like that but in the end they decided it didn't matter. Nobody knew who they were anyway.

They had organised with Pixis’s Eren’s singing teacher to use the empty room downstairs that house the ball room dancing on Tuesdays. It was a simple set up as all three of them stood in front of a backdrop that alternately flipped through pictures of space while Eren sang lead and his two childhood friends did backup.

“Hey guys, isn't this like twice the amount of views we had on the last clip” The blond kept his eyes glued to the screen as he spoke, his voice seeping with disbelief.

Both Eren and Mikasa nodded and continued watching the screen as Eren stood alone on the stage a distant picture of stars shone on the backdrop behind him.

 

 

_All his memories have been experienced through High speed on a video screen that’s all he ever knew…_

_Did you know none of it's real if you can't feel the beating of someone's heart –_ Eren raised his hand and placed it over his heart, keeping his eyes glued onto the camera.

_Don’t leave yourself in the dark…_ Dropping his tempo of voice Eren lowered his gaze and sung in a softer tone to capture his online audience.

_Seems that everyone we knows is out there waiting by a phone wondering why they feel alone in this life…_

There was a temporary black out and then all three of them stood together on the stage singing, the back drop changing as the chorus came over.

_Are we all just satellites? Where's the love? Show me tonight here's the moment we unite …_

All three of them held out there hands and grabbed hold of the other, Eren in the middle.

_For all we know life's just to dream who the hell knows what it means? Stop the world and sing with me._

As the clip continued to play Eren began to sing along keeping in time with himself in the video, it didn't take long for both Armin and Mikasa to join is as they hummed quietly as to not drown out Eren's voice. At a young age they had overheard Eren singing and it took months of encouraging him before he agreed to get a singing teacher, Pixis immediately saw the talent in Eren and had him coming in for lessons most days of the week, but after the death of Carla, Eren mum he only went once a week if he could be bothered to drag himself out of his room.

Both Mikasa and Armin had been studying his behavior for months now, the way he stayed in his room only to come down for food or to see pixis. He even refused to see his optometrist anymore which caused him discomfort on the days where his eyes became irritated or his contact supply had run low. This meant sending someone else to go and pick them up for him, though he was sure Mikasa didn't mind grabbing them but in a way he also new it wasn't fair of him to rely on them to do every little thing for him. But now the only thing that he enjoyed doing was singing, nothing else really mattered. Well of course he cared for his friends to, but they were to bound to become board with him and leave him at some point, right? That was why he was so pleased to have them in his singing videos if it meant they possibly would stay around for just a little longer.

They watched the video through a second time before going back downstairs.

"Do you guys want to play monopoly or something?" The blond asked after chucking down the remote after finding there wasn't a single good thing on the television for the night.

"Arminnn" Eren teased  "Whenever we play you must cheat because you win like every god damn time i swear."

"I'm sure he doesn't cheat Eren, its just you suck so much because you refuse to buy anything but the highest properties."

"That's because they are best ones to have, obviously."

"They are also the ones your least likely to land on so you may as well buy some other ones as well."'

"Tsh whatever, but don't give me shit if i hand you both your ass's afterwards ok?" Both Mikasa and Armin nodded their heads slightly knowing either way the brunette wouldn't be winning this game. Little did Eren know, they both ganged up on him every single time they played by 'forgetting' to charge each other for landing on their stuff. 

 

Just over an hour later  Eren stormed out of the room cursing under his breath after landing on Mikasa's hotel before going up stairs and slamming the door to his bedroom on the way. 

"I swear he does that every time he is about to loose." Mikasa smirked at her blond friend before scooping up the loose pieces and putting them away in the box leaving the game unfinished.

"He will be back down in a minute though" As if on cue Eren came back down the stairs quietly as if trying not to let the other two know he was back.

"I'm sorry guys... its just..." Armin stood and grabbed hold of Eren's hands in his own, with a shake of his head. 

"We know we know Eren, but you should have at least stayed i think Mikasa was going to win this time not me, it would have been a sight to behold."

"yeah next time then... sorry Mika."

"Its fine you dummy, its late anyway whats say we hop into bed then yeah?"

Both boys nodded their heads and made their way to the designated rooms as they shouted a goodnight to each other from opposite ends of the house. 


	2. leaving my comfort zome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the story is now written from Eren's point of view because i felt it would be easier to convey his feelings that way so i hope that is all good with you guys.  
> I hope you continue to enjoy it, and again don't forget to leave any comments or anything and drop me some feed back~

 

"Eren come on you can't stay in your room all day" I groaned at the sound of Mikasa standing outside my door demanding my presence for the third time today, could she not tell i'd rather stay in here doing the things that i enjoyed.

Its just today was hot. Too hot. I had woken up this morning with my bed sheets literally sticking to my skin and if that wasn't disgusting enough once i stood up i could make out where i had been laying because of the sweat marks i had left imprinted in the mattress.  Usually i was fine with the heat but lately it was like we were experiencing a heat wave or something, and i'm not even kidding we probably are it is that time of the year after all and even Mikasa has been slightly bothered by the heat, and that is really saying something. 

"Eren i swear to god i will pick this lock." 

"Mikasa i'll be down later okay? Just let me finish watching this." 

"You've been saying that all day." I guess she was right i mean i had been watching things all day and she had come up stairs to see me a few times and i just blew her off but it was literally one of those days where i really didn't give a crap about anything. And honestly for me that was pretty much every single day. Though i don't really see the problem but i really didn't want to face Mikasa if i got her really mad and by the tone in her voice i could tell that time was growing closer the longer i sat in my room. 

"Okay okay i'm coming" i called as i pushed myself away from my desk being careful not to get the wheels stuck in any of the piles of clothes that littered the floor. I swear there was once a time where i could see the carpet. "Just show me mercy okay?"  

"What do you mean mercy, what did you do Eren?" 

"Nothing, nothing i'm just tired okay." i said once i had reached my bedroom door ditching the chair as i had come to the conclusion i wasn't going to be able to push myself across the room without getting it caught in the clothes. I flicked the lock on the door and stepped back knowing that as soon as Mikasa realized the door was open it would swing open as she would march in.  Perfectly on cue she pushed open the door with such a force it hit the wall, luckily i wasn't still standing there otherwise she most likely would have taken me out. It wouldn't have been the first time either, you'd think after that incident she would open it a bit more carefully to avoid giving me unnecessary concussions. Guess not.

"Well that's not my fault is it? Let me guess, you stayed up most of the night on that god damn computer." As usual she was spot on and she just have picked up on that after raising her eyebrows at me. "Eren how many times do i have to tell you this..."

"This lifestyle isn't good for me." I mimicked as i finished her sentence for her knowing how much she hated it when i did that. "I know i know i got it okay."

 "Eren."

"Alright i'm sorry."

"Sorry for what Eren?" There she goes again, trying to act motherly and stern with me when she was literally what a few months older than me.  Ever since mum died she almost instantly picked up where mum left and tried to keep my life on track while also dealer with her own life and Dad practically walking out on us. Not that we really minded him being gone, its not like we were ever really close in the first place since he spent the majority of his time working and going on business trips only to return home for a few hours to sleep before he left at the brink of dawn the next day. The only days i ever really got to see him were on weekends but even so he was still frequently being called in to help out. 

"I dunno staying in my room or whatever." 

"Well i'll accept you apology if you come downstairs and help me cook before Armin gets back." 

"Mikasa you know i can't cook , i'll burn down the house or something."

"As if i did't know that already. I just need you to cut up some vegetables or something to help me out and it will at least help you be sociable instead of sitting in a dark room all day. Hell you've probably got some new species of mushrooms growing in there from what i can smell."

"Mikasa that's disgusting, don't sniff my room."

"I'm not the smell is just wafting out. You really should clean it sometime then you will actually be able to find what your looking for, maybe you'll even find my jeans that you borrowed like a month ago." I completely forgot about those jeans, they were really comfortable as well, just the right length and shape. Girls jeans always seemed to fit me better because they were a skinnier make and also the color range you can buy them in was greater so that was a bonus as well. 

"Alright i'll clean it later alright, well maybe."

"Not maybe Eren you will."

"Ahaa, well we'll see won't we." Before she could say anything else about my precious bedroom i quickly changed the subject 1. so i didn't have to deal with her nagging me and 2. i just really couldn't be bothered to clean my room, it would take me hours and that really isn't something i am prepared to put my time into. "Anyway cooking right, lets go then."

"Yep" I followed Mikasa downstairs not bothering to get changed into anything half descent, by now both her and Armin were used to seeing me walk around in a pair of stained track pants and a t-shirt, both would return to their home on the floor later on anyway when i'd go to bed. If i went to bed that is. 

 

"Eren you know you should really be more careful." I pulled open the bottom draw in the kitchen and took out the box of band-aids whilst sucking he few droplets of blood off my finger. We had literally been in the kitchen for about 3 minutes when i looked behind my shoulder to speak to Mikasa when i caught the knife on the edge of my finger, luckily though i had the smaller knife because Mikasa needed the bigger one to cut up the chicken for the soup she was making for Armin once he got home because i swear every day the kid ate a ton but didn't put on any weight. Lucky little shit he was, if i ate as much as him i wouldn't still be this slim. Can i even call myself slim, i mean i'm not the toughest guy out there but i do have some muscle definition even if it isn't as noticeable as i'd like it to be. 

"Hmmm i guess" i took the band-aid out of its packet and wrapped it around my finger before bending it a few times to make sure it wasn't too tight before i went back to picking up the knife. Well that's what i had planned to do until i had a hand pushing me back a little, away from the 'oh so deadly' kitchen utensil. 

"It's fine Eren i can handle it for now but i think you should stay away from knifes from now on because next time if you are that careless you may take off a whole finger, and i'm sure you wouldn't really like that very much would you?"

 "God, no way. i wouldn't be able to play games anymore, i need all my fingers for those you know." In my room i had both a play station and an x-box which i used when i wasn't on the computer which was pretty much when our internet died or ran out, which was also quite frequently. Luckily though my gaming devices saved me from being devastatingly bored when times like those occurred.  "So i guess i'll just watch television or something then, do you know when Armin will be back?

"Well what time is it now? I think he finished at about 2 or something like that so depending on the time." Pulling out my phone i hit the home button to light up the screen displaying the time.

"Its 24 past." I called as i unlocked my phone with my trusty pass code that nobody would be able to figure out, not that anyone would be trying to get into my phone in the first place. The only things on their were a few pictures of Mum, and a select few with Mikasa and Armin. There was that and the fact that i didn't always remember to clear my history, it was my phone after all though so it shouldn't matter if what i looked at. My phone is my business anyway, so is the amount of porn i watch on it. 

"he should be home soon then, unless he had any meetings."

"Nar i don't think he does today i'm pretty sure they were finishing up on what they were doing so he should be able to relax a whole lot more soon."

"Well that's good because we are going out tonight remember?" Going out, tonight... oh, crap i had forgotten about that completely.

"Um you know Mikasa, i'm not really feeling that well so i.."

"You are coming and don't try to argue with me about it because i wont change my mind. And if you dare try and get out of it i'll, i dunno cut the internet usage off or something." There is no way she would do that to me right? she knows how much i need that to survive each day and there is no way she would put me through so much pain and suffering for one night out. 

"You wouldn't."

"Of course i would" Mikasa walked out of the kitchen and stood in front of me with a knowing look on her face, i would say it was almost a smirk, it was the look she gave me every time she new she was about to win in some sort of argument or fight, the 'give it up Eren you know i'm right' look and it was one i wouldn't be able to argue with especially the internet was now on the line. 

"Whatever. As long as you know its only for a little bit of time and before you ask i am not going to talk to people and try and make friends or whatever, okay?" If there was anyway that she was trying to get me to talk to people i had to make sure she knew that that wasn't going to happen before we left the house, or i'm sure there would be some kind of argument about that later. And really making Mikasa angry was not something i overly enjoyed at all because for one, she was incredibly stern and nagged me even more than usual and two, the look of hurt and sorrow in her eyes wasn't something i liked to know was caused by me. 

 "But Eren.."

"No Mikasa i really mean it."

"Okay sorry, i just thought it might be good for you. You know?" I gave her a lopsided smile and a brief shrug but that didn't stop the sad look that appeared on her face. 

"Hey don't look so sad Mika. I'll try making some friends some time just maybe not just yet. I'm trying, i just have to take it slowly alright."

"Yeah i know and i'm sorry i keep pushing you."

"Its okay i know you just want whats best for me and i think your doing the right thing its just that..." I let my sentence drift off as i thought about the best way to describe to her how i was feeling, you could say i was worried but i felt there was more to it than that and i couldn't find the correct way to label it.

"Maybe you are scared."

"I am not scared its more like" I paused again rolling words around on my tongue as i thought of how to explain to Mikasa how i felt without sounding utterly stupid. "I guess maybe nervous or like anxious."

 "Well that makes a lot of sense considering the situation, but do you want to talk about it maybe so it'll help me understand how far i can take things without causing you to be uncomfortable?" I had been putting off talking about how i felt with both Mikasa and Armin now but in the end i guess it was impossible to put off forever since i lived with the both of them and they were equally as persistent with knowing about everything going on under the roof. And because i lived here that gave them the free pass to the right to knowing what it was i was concerned about, that and the fact they were my bestest friends and i trusted them enough to know this stuff. The only problem i had with it though was figuring out how to explain it all to them.

I could say how i was scared to take the first steps, scared to take the risks that could leave me hurt and chilled inside or i could tell her how i was worried that everything would be a disappointment and i wouldn't enjoy being free from my fears, i could say that i had a feeling that once i put myself back out in the open that i would be an easy target people could lock onto before firing the final blow. I was weak, i am weak and i had i feeling i would always be that way. I could tell her that as well, i could say i was terrified of rejection but most of all i could tell her how i knew it would take so much for someone to earn my trust now, how much i was worried nobody would want to make such a commitment to me. I could say...

"Eren?'" Her worried voice pulled me from my thoughts as i brought my head up and looked at her, the confusion was shown on her face probably because of my sudden silence.

"I'm sorry i was just trying to piece together how i'm going to say all this." She gave me a knowing smile and tilted her head in the direction of the other room and i took the hint as i walked in and sat down on the couch leaning my arm i the arm rest. 

"Alright so i guess i can't really put of talking to you about this forever so just hang with me while i try and explain alright. And also afterwards maybe fill Armin in as well for me?"

"Yeah sure sounds good to me. Just take your time alright."

"Yeah okay." The reassurance from her made it easier for me to start explaining to her what was going on without having to worry that i was being a nuisance.

"Well as you know already i have some trust issues right? Well i think because i haven't tried to trust anyone its getting harder for me."

"Do you mean that because you have been putting it off that you think its becoming harder to imagine yourself doing?"

"Yeah i guess but its more than that you know, its like i don't even think trying anymore would be worth it because in the end i feel like in just going to be let down and then everything would have been for nothing and it would have just been bets for me to have not tried in the first place. i guess you could say that i am also just really scared that someone else out there will misuse my trust like Dad did and i'm not sure i can deal with someone doing that to me again." I took a deep breath through my nose and glanced up at Mikasa those face looked conflicted between being incredibly sad at what i was saying and happy for me being comfortable enough to be able to sit down and tell her how i felt.  I guess she couldn't really make up her mind as a few stray tears slept past her eyes fell down her checks. 

"Eren thank you so so much for telling me, thank you." She paused to rub at her eyes probably attempting to wipe up the tears she never meant to shed. "Thank you, but i'm so sorry you feel like that. I didn't realize how much it was scaring you, I'm sorry if i have caused you any unnecessary stress."

"Again Mikasa, i said its fine so please stop crying okay?" 

"Okay, sorry." She said pulling her sleeve up around her wrist before using it to slow dab around her eyes to avoid ruining her makeup. As she did this i took note that i didn't tell her all that i was planning on, i guess it was probably better for her to not know everything because then she would find more things to worry about that concerned me. At least with her understanding the base of how i felt i knew it would be a bit easier for her to be able to deal with my anxiety issues and just how she would treat me around the house. 

 It only took her a few seconds to regain her composure returning to her original state, it didn't look at all like she had just had a bit of a small cry. Most people would have at least a bit of red in their eyes but not Mikasa, i swear it was like she could snap her fingers and her expression could change just like that. I guess it would be handy to be able to do that under some circumstances but i would never really know because according to Mikasa and Armin i was an open book, i think even Pixis told me that at some point. 

Both Mikasa and i continued to have a talk; but this time on a much happier topic until Armin came home whom then unpacked his bags and had a shower before he proceeded to join us in our conversation at which Disney movie was the best, both he and Mikasa argued it was the lion king while i stayed strong and told them how it was obviously Aladdin. I mean how is Aladdin not the best, the sound track is awesome and who wouldn't want to have a best friend as a monkey or fly around on a magic carpet; i guess i never really would understand their choice in movies. 

 We talked about the end of Armin's school year, now that he was done he could probably go off and get a job right off the bat, anybody would be an idiot not to hire him after all. I bet he would be their new number one councilor in a matter of days because of how well he seems to be able to handle peoples problems, and give them good coping methods, hell he is even good at just sitting back and listening. I've had my fair share of sitting down and talking to him and he has given me ideas of what to do when i'm sad, the bonus is i just don't have to pay for it. Do people even have to pay for a councilor? I don't even know.

 Before we all knew it Mikasa had step up the table and we were all seated down eating, i must admit i never noticed her get up to set the table so i am assuming i was just to in depth with my conversation with Armin; and i am guess he was to because when she called us from the kitchen telling us it was time to eat he looked mortified that he didn't notice her get up from right beside him. 

The food was too good so he ate in mostly silence apart from a few brief statements from Mikasa telling me to slow down in case i choked, and me bragging about how i helped in cooking which Mikasa just shook her head and told Armin all i did was cut up a few vegetables. 

"Well at least he helped right?"

"Armin he cut himself within like a minute."

"Oh" Armin glanced over at me snickering slightly. I swear Mikasa always tries to make me look like a bit of an idiot, she should have just accepted i helped and left it at that.

"Oh come on guys, at least be glad that i came down to help. When you were eating i hope you thought 'wow this tastes good so good that it may have been cooked by a god'"

"That was because it was cooked by me Eren so of course it was like a god cooked it." They both couldn't hold back their giggles as i shook my head in disbelief, they could at least be a bit grateful.

"I swear to god Mikasa i will never help to cook ever again, even if there is a zombie Apocalypse and you need help cooking food for storing." My statement had them laughing even harder as they grabbed hold of their stomachs, at this point Armin had tears streaming down his face.

"Really guys it isn't that funny."

"Yes it..." Armin's sentence broke off as he took a deep breath to contain his laughter. "We are just messing with you and you are taking us so seriously, oh my god Eren of course we would be grateful you came downstairs to help cook. Even if it is only cutting up vegetables." 

 "Yeah yeah what ever you say, i'm still not helping out again though, my finger stings like hell." And it really did, for such a small cut i could still feel my heart beating through it if i thought about it for even a second. It had only bleed a little bit luckily but after i quick inspection i found it looked to be quite deep but nothing a bit of cream and a band-aid couldn't do to fix it. Not that we had any ice cream in the first place. 

"You know" Armin broke off recapturing my attention. "We were planning to go out tonight and its already like 5 so lets say we leave about 6, so that gives us an hour to be ready." 

"Sounds like a plan, think you can be ready by then Eren? Oh and that includes having a shower you still smell like ass."

"You know what, i am going to make sure it takes me a really long time to get ready i think." I smirked across at my friends who both look equally unimpressed.

"Okay jeez i'll be ready by 6"

 

I was in fact not ready by 6. Nor was it on purpose either, it was because apparently track pants are not good enough to go out in according to Armin so he dressed me up in some of his clothes that consisted of a white button up shirt topped with a light brown vest and of course a pair of Mikasa's skinny jeans. The only part of the outfit that was my own were the shoes, and of course the underpants. I'd never dream of wearing someone else's under pants; and i'm not usually one to worry about hygiene but that would be discussing. You never know what shit has gone down in other peoples pants. Quite literally. 

It was now like 20 past or something and we were heading out to the car, we had all given up on trying to maintain my hair so we just left it as its usual wild self. I was set, dressed, teeth brushed, contact in but still even if i looked visually ready i could feel the nerves churning inside me twisting my stomach into all kinds of knots. Armin must have noticed as i reached across and rubbed circles into the back of my hand which i had not noticed until now but they were clinging onto the edge of the car seat like it was the end of the world. 

Armin often chose to sit in the back whenever he had the chance, even if the passenger seat in the front wasn't occupied. Though i never really understood and always tried to usher him up there i was glad he stood strong today and sat in the back seat with me. 

 Apart from the quiet sound of the radio in the background we drove silently and i was thankful i was given this time to compose myself before i had to step out of the car. Before we left Armin had told me that we would be going out to the bar that Hanji owned; apparently that had chosen that one specifically because Armin thought i would be most comfortable in a situation where at least some people weren't complete strangers so at least one of us in our little trio. Again i was happy, i had heard lots about Hanji from Armin so i already had a basic idea of what she was like so i was slightly more prepared and less nervous to meet her in person. Slightly. As well as picking out a bar i would feel more comfortable Armin said he talked to Hanji and found out which day the bar was quietest and that just happened to be today. I really needed to give that kid a hug or something, he is just was to considerate for his own good. 

 I sat there and thought about how i would introduce myself to Armin friend Hanji for another few minutes before Mikasa pulled the car into a slot alongside the edge of the bar and killed the engine.

"You ready boys lets go have some fun" She smiled directly at me before grabbing her back and getting out of the car, Armin soon following after. I sat for just a second longer before i pulled myself grumbling about not being able to stay home out of the car. 

Looking straight ahead at the bar i could hear the music playing loudly. Actually when do bars ever have music this loud?

"Hey Armin i didn't know they played music this loud at a bar"

"Oh yeah, well its like a bar, but also a club. You get me?" A bar that is also a club, sounds complicated. Anyway now that i was here i knew there would be no chickening out. I was Eren Jeager and i could survive a few hours drinking with my friends.

"Guess i'll have to won't i?" 

"Yep, it'll be okay though. If you really need to get out Hanji gave me a key to one of the back rooms that isn't used if you need some time alone. I'll show it to you later if you like." I just nodded my head and followed Armin towards the entry noticing how Mikasa had wondered ahead of us and was already inside. 

The first thing i noticed when i pushed the door open was the music which i was pleased about, who doesn't love singing to some good music. But of course my good music had to be covered up by a high pitch sound from a squealing woman. A squealing woman who was running straight for me, with a huge grin plastered across her face. 


	3. First steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out for the night, Eren gets up the courage to talk to some new people and before he knows it friends are made.

The sheer force of the woman bowling into wasn't really something i had expected within being inside the building for the maximum of 5 seconds. I seriously thought this woman was going to flatten me. Not that i'd mind too much it would hurts yes but then at least Mikasa would probably have to take me home. But before i managed to hit the floor i had 2 strong pairs of hangs holding my shoulders in place and 2 eyes staring right at me.

"HI HI HI, you must be Eren, right? Tell me i'm right?"

"Uhh..." All i really wanted to say was to tell her to stop staring. The longer her eyes stayed pinned onto me the more unsteady i was becoming to feel. Somehow she must have realized as she took a slight step back flickering her eyes back on forth, most likely to get an 'all good' from Armin.

"Oh hehehe silly me, I'm Hanji nice to meet you." So this is Hanji, she definitely lives up to Armin's word about being loud and care free that's for sure. I wasn't quite sure what to do especially now that she held her hand out for me to shake so i glanced side wards for some reassurance from Armin. He nodded his head slightly letting me know it would be alright so i slowly brought my hand out to meet hers planning on giving it a light shake. But no.

"Nice to meet you... Um yeah I'm Eren." She seemed calm enough until i mentioned that yes i was in fact Eren. When Armin came back one day telling me about Hanji i was shocked that there were people as excited and giddy as her. He said how she made everything much more lively and interesting, which i could now completely grasp. I'm sure if i stayed around her too much i'd have a permanent migraine.

"OH MY GOD REALLLLLY?" Hanji started jumping up and down still holding onto my hand in what felt like a death grip, how was she even this strong her arms are like sticks.

"Y yes..."  Out of the corner of my eye i saw Armin give Hanji a warning glance so she ceased her jumping but still she kept her strong grip on my hand. I wonder if she held on long enough if my blood circulation would completely cut off. I swear i heard somewhere that if you had gone long enough without blood circulation your limbs or whatever could fall off. I'm probably completely wrong about that though. 

"Sorry sorry, Armin had told me so much about you. I'm so excited to finally meet you." Excited to meet me, did she hit her head as well? I'm like the most boring person so i can't see why anybody would be excited to meet me, but then again Hanji seemed to be the type of person to be excited about anything and everything; according to Armin. 

"Well um... its nice to meet you to, Armin has tol..." 

"Ohhh what did he tell you, come on what did ... OH MY GOD ARMIN YOU DIDN'T TELL THIS POOR BOY ABOUT THAT TIME DID YOU!" And alas my ear drums burst and that was the end of our lovely outing. If only. 

"Which time Hanji?" As i recall there are many of 'these times'" Armin asked crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. I swear it was times like these were i thought he looked slightly like Mikasa.

"The one where i tripped and hit my head as was all like totally convinced you were..." She paused as her face started going bright red. I couldn't help but feel slightly curious to what she was talking about. Luckily she finished what she was saying before she burst into a fit of giggles. "My dad." It didn't take long for Hanji to be curled up in hysterics on the floor. 

We waited for Hanji to calm down before speaking any further on the matter, which honestly took like 10 minutes. Every time we thought she had calmed down again she would start giggling all over again, this process must have happened like 4 times until we had her sitting up in a chair with a glass of water in her hand. I thought it was extremely strange but Armin seemed perfectly accustomed to it which i found quite funny, does she do this on a daily basis or something? 

Now that she was sitting, almost still; apart from her fiddling in her seat, i could get a proper look at her. I hadn't noticed before but atop of her head sat a pair of goggles that you would expect some olden styled pilot to be wearing, and honestly they were pretty cool, they suited her. Her hair was nearly the same color as mine and tied up in a pony tail, though there were some loose bits where she let some hair frame her face. 

"So Hanji are you okay now? I think you startled Eren a little." Both of them looked up at me, their faces held a little bit more worry this time as they noticed i may be feeling uncomfortable. 

"Um it's okay i was just a bit surprised is all. I mean it was quite funny you thought that Armin was you dad... especially because he doesn't look like an adult man." Hanji broke into a grin at my comment whereas Armin just gasped slightly before hitting me in the upper arm.

"I do so look like a man Eren."

"No you don't, your like a little delicate flower."

"So that doesn't mean i'm not a man."

"But, it makes you less manly then me."

"Eren you are an ass."

"Oh why thank you my delicate little flower." We traded playful insults at each other completely forgetting about Hanji until she cleared her throat.

"Well i see that you two boys are having fun, but do you still want me to show you around?" By the look on Armin's face i'd say he was extremely embarrassed that he had forgotten she was there. 

"Yeah, sorry. That'd be great, right Eren?" Armin rubbed the back of his head and i just nodded and tried my best to give a smile letting Hanji know i appreciated her showing us around. Though i suspect Armin had been here before, i am guess Mikasa has also judging by the fact she was sitting across the room talking to a few people; probably her friends. The only one i recognized from the whole group she was with was Annie, both Armin and i have been suspecting they are going out for a while now but neither of us are brave enough to just go up and ask her. Plus she will tell us when she is ready. 

"Yeah thanks Hanji."

"No problem, when Armin told me they were planning to take you out i tried my best to get him to take you here so i could meet you. Though i must say i wasn't expecting you to be this god damn cute." 

"E excuse me?" 

"Don't worry honey i'm not going to hit on you." 

"W what?"

"See over there." Hanji pointed her finger towards a guy handing out drinks across the room. "His name is Mobilt and we have been going at it for 5 years." 

"Oh, i see." 

"So anyway lets say i show you around. Are you coming Armin?" 

"I'll just go and sit with Mikasa, can you make your way over afterwards Eren?"

"Oh yeah that should be fine..." He was going to leave me here alone, well not completely alone but i hardly new Hanji, what if she actually hated me and just wanted to seem friendly while Armin was around. 

"Okay well i'll see you guys later, take care of him Hanji."  He waved a brief goodbye before he disappeared to the other side of the room and dropped down beside Mikasa. I could hear him laughing along with them already and it made my heart twinge that i wasn't able to actively go and enjoy myself like that. 

"You know Eren i don't bite, promise."

"Hmm?"

"Come on i'll show you out back." 

Hanji led me down towards the bar before going through a door marked with 'staff' which opened up into an open room which i am presuming they use to take lunch breaks or whatever. The walls were all plain white and everything sat perfectly its its places on shelves, the only things on the floor were bits of furniture. 

"It's a nice room isn't it, though not many of us come back here but if we ever need to it is a nice space to be able to use." I nodded my head still looking around. "I've let the other employers know that you are allowed back here and to let your friends come along if they need to." 

"Thanks Hanji it means a lot." She smiled a carefree smile and i can tell she really didn't understand how much of a favor she was doing me. Not everyone would let somebody they didn't know into the staff room at their business, for all Hanji knew i could be here to rob her or something. Not that i was going to do, i'd never do that to anyone. She must have put a large amount of trust in me and that made me really happy. If you couldn't tell trust was a big deal to me, so when Hanji put trust into me i felt a great pride and i couldn't stop a smile from spreading across my face. 

"You'll be out socializing before you know it, just keep that smile on your face and i'm sure you will do just great." 

"Yeah, well i'll try to anyway."

"Please do. But we have gotten off track, it's just a small room with a few basics. There is a toilet through that door over there. "She pointed towards a door that was clearly labeled toilet so i'm sure i wouldn't miss it. "There is also a television but i don't think it is connected up, but once you have it running; if you want it running, there should be a large range of channels installed just try to keep the volume down. Also couches, a table and a small radio and i think there is an office phone somewhere on one of the shelves. And well that is about it."

"Thanks again Hanji, i mean you don't even know me and you are already doing so much for me..." 

"Hey Eren, i know what it's like to be scared of people trust me, when i saw younger i didn't leave my house for weeks on end. My friends always tried to drag me out with them but i refused until one day i just thought 'why not' so i went out and you know what?"

"No what?"

"I'm glad i did because now i own a bar and i have many wonderful new friends." Actually i was really surprised to hear about Hanji, she was such a bubbly person for her to say this made me think maybe one day i would be able to be like her. 

"Did it take you long to make friends?"

"Nope not really, i just had to try and be a bit more open even if it scared me. It was hard believe me but after i did it the first time it was easier to do the next time."

"Really?"

"Yeah of course but like i said it was definitely worth it, i hope you will be able to feel the same sense of accomplishment as me soon Eren."

"Yeah me to, one day i hope i'm comfortable enough to go out with people i can call friends."

"If it helps you at all Eren, i'll be your friend. I am always keen for a new buddy."

"R really?"

"You know it." 

"... Thank you"

"Don't worry about it, but I've got to get back out and make sure everyone is working their butts off, okay?"

"Yeah that's fine, thanks again Hanji." 

Before i knew it i was sitting in an empty room by myself going over what just happened in my head. Had i really just made a friend that quickly? I was really glad and felt a bit better about coming out already because i got to meet Hanji. I would have to thank Armin properly later for taking us to Hanji's bar instead of a different one. 

I stayed lost in thought for a bit longer before finally exploring the room, it was scarily clean. I really didn't expect Hanji to be this clean, maybe they had a cleaner here or something. Anyways it being clean really helped me find all the right cords to fix the television up and within a few minutes it came to life. 

I flicked through the channels to find that Hanji was right about the range on there, there was sports, cartoons, cooking, comedy and something that looked suspiciously like porn; i just skipped over that one, didn't want to be caught jacking off in Hanji's break room. That would just be awkward and i doubt she would let me back in here, let alone continue being my friend. 

Even though i had set up the television i didn't particularly want to sit down and watch it all night so i decided to send Armin a text telling him Hanji had finished showing me around the back and to come and get me because i didn't want to walk out there by myself. 

 He replied quite quickly telling me he would be here in a minute so i waited until he came through the door a little while later with two glasses in his hands. 

"Thought you might want a drink or something to help you get settled." To me right now that sounded like a perfect idea.

"Armin have i ever told you that i think you descended from a god."

"Don't be stupid Eren." I had a few sips of the drink he had gotten me, it was rather sweet and i found myself liking it quite a lot before we went back to join everyone out in the bar. 

 

"So everyone this is Eren, Eren this is everyone. Everyone play nice, if not i'm sure Mikasa won't mind handing you your ass's." I saw a full giggles pass through the group before they started to introduce themselves. The first to introduce themselves was an extremely freckled guy.

"Nice to finally met you Eren, i'm Marco and i hope we can be good friends." Marco smiled up at me with a genuine smile before nudging the guy next to him. 

"Sup i'm jean." Well that was a bit more blunt, though quite honestly the guy didn't look like the most nicest person in the world. Like i have never heard of anyone having two colors in their hair they way he did, actually looking at it closely this guy kind of reminded me of a horse. I turned  bit and saw two girls one sitting a top of the others lap.

"Hi i am Ymir and this here is my little Historia, but you can just call her Krista okay?" Krista smiled up at Ymir her blond hair flowing carefully over her shoulders. 

"Yeah sure." At first i was thinking about asking her why she preferred being called Krista whilst Ymir called her Historia but i decided against it, it wasn't really my business after all.  I have to admit though i was curious to which one was her real name; if any of them where. 

It was Marco who then spoke up again. "We have all heard a lot about you Eren, from Mikasa and Armin obviously. There are usually a few more of us here but it is just us tonight but if you are comfortable with it please make yourself welcome."

"Thanks." I smiled and nodded down at Marco who was reflecting the smile back at me before he gestured towards am empty seat at the table which i slowly sat myself down into. I sat between Armin and the small blond who i remembered being introduced to as Krista, she seemed quite nice but also rather shy as i could see watching her she kept to talking to juts Ymir; only talking to the others in much smaller portions. She glanced over at me a few times before she turned her body around to face me completely.

"Hey Eren, you alright?" At first i didn't register she was talking to me until she called out to me again. "Eren..."

"Oh sorry, yeah?"

"Are you okay you are spacing out a bit?"

"I'm fine, it's just weird to be surrounded by so many people..."

"I see, well i hope you'll be alright with hanging out with us more often. Some of the guys can be jerks like Jean but just know he isn't that bad deep down."

"What is that guys problem anyway he seems like he has a stick stuck up his ass?"

"I know right, i think he is on his man period or something." I couldn't help but giggle a little at Krista accusation of Jean but in a way it completely mad sense for him to be on his man period. 

"That is brilliant, next time Armin gets moody i am definitely going  to accuse him of being on his man period."

"So even Armin gets days like that huh? Watch out though because Jeans man periods seem to last much longer, if you know what i mean." She winked at me as we heard Jean call across the table at us which just tipped us over the edge as we broke down into fits of laughter. 

"I heard my name, what the hell are to two laughing about." We both kept laughing and soon our laughter had the attention of the whole table, at that moment instead of being paranoid about all the eyes on me i laughed harder and soon there were tears streaking down my cheeks. All of the table was looking at me with wide eyes especially Armin and Mikasa; I'm guessing Mikasa came over here once she heard all the commotion that was going on. 

I reckon the whole group had been told about me and how i was scared of, well a lot of things involving people and trusting them but after a moment the worry in their eyes died down into something more soft and soon some of them were also stifling giggles as Jean continued asking us what we were laughing about him for. 

It honestly felt great to be about to laugh freely like this, usually the only time i laughed was at home, with Mikasa and Armin. The more i laughed the more comfortable i began feeling. I was still scared but right now everyone was treating me very kindly; apart from Jean but he was on his man period so i supposed i would have to forgive him this time. He might not even be that bad, i hadn't even spoken two sentences to him yet so i don't think its nice for me to label him a total ass before i have given him a chance. 

 

Before i knew it i had been sitting talking to everyone for about two hours, i had learnt lots about all of them, i had even talked to Jean briefly were he asked what Krista and i were laughing about where i proceeded to tell him how Krista claimed he was on his man period; he didn't seem overly impressed at the statement but i noticed the small smile on his lips when i told him. You can't hide your amusement from me buddy.

One thing i noticed when talking to everyone was that Jean and Marco seemed extremely close to one another and i wouldn't be surprised if they were dating. I decided i would ask Armin about it later because he seemed closer to the pair then Mikasa did. 

Hanji had come back over about half an hour ago saying she had finished her shift and was free to hang out for a little while. She fitted in with the group surprisingly easy for someone who was six years our senior. It was nice though being around her even if she was one of the most noisy people i had ever meet, it was kind of reassuring to have her here. I had been talking to her for a few minutes now and we were currently stuck on the topic of debating whether chocolate or caramel cake was better. The correct answer would obviously be chocolate but Hanji seemed dead set serious on the option of caramel; of course caramel was nice but how could anyone prefer that over good old chocolate, especially if said chocolate cake was still warm and was being served with ice cream. I was a real sucker for ice cream. 

"Now come on Eren, chocolate is so boring and original obviously the caramel is going to be better because it is more individual compared to chocolate." 

"It is better because it is the original obviously. You obviously don't have decent taste in cakes." 

"Obviously Eren you do not appreciate the beauty of a caramel cake."

"Obviously Hanji you don't.."

"Okay oh my god you two we get it, Hanji likes caramel and Eren likes chocolate and that is fine but i swear if one of you says obviously one more time i am going to get an order of ice water and drown you both in it." Hanji and i both looked apologetically up at Mikasa who stood before us, it usually takes a lot to annoy her but i guess the over usage of the word 'obviously' ticked her off quite a bit. 

"Sorry Mika..."

"Yeah sorry Mikasa, Eren just doesn't see the beauty in caramel cakes, you think they are nicer than chocolate don't you." What Hanji didn't realize was Mikasa was also a sucked for chocolate cake. 

"Actually Eren is right, chocolate is much more superior to that of caramel, caramel is just a try hard cake." Hanji's jaw dropped so quickly and the look of betrayal on her face was very noticeable.

"Well... wait i know." Hanji pulled her phone out of her pocket and started rapidly pushing the buttons before she held it up to her ear slightly bouncing in her seat. 

"Uh Hanji?" i asked rather confused. "What are you doing?"

"I am calling someone, and i am sure he will say caramel is better just you wait and see." I shrugged and waited for her call to go through which it obviously didn't as she pulled her phone away from her ear and began dialing again.

"That short ass punk better ans... Leviiiiiiiii caramel is obviously better isn't it?... Of course you know what i mean... no... cake you idiot, caramel cake.... Wait wait... you do think it is better than chocolate don't you?" Hanji's smile on her face disappeared quickly as she once again removed the phone from he side of her face.

"He said lemon cheese cake then hung up on me..."

"Well there you go, at least he didn't say caramel, i can now sleep soundly at night knowing it is only you who is delusional about the love of cakes."

"Eren that isn't fair caramel is soooo nice." I didn't think twice about Hanji's friend on the phone. 

"Yeah i know but i will always like chocolate more but i think we should change subjects before Mikasa actually orders ice water." Mikasa was still staring at the both of us with a hard eye. I knew she was slightly annoyed but i also knew she wouldn't actually tip ice water over us because that would make me embarrassed and uncomfortable and i don't think she would risk that the first time they got me out of the house for something other than singing. 

Where singing was concerned i loved leaving the house to put on a show for the camera and gets lessons from Pixis it was a small slice of heaven for me, a place where i could let loose and have fun. But tonight gave me another spot where i could relax and have fun, i just had to take the first steps; and tonight i had successfully taken those steps and now i was one friend and  group of people closer to finding freedom from the isolation i had put myself in. 

 

Mikasa and Armin came up and asked if i was ready to go a short time later which i responded to with a nod of the head and a smile. Tonight was good, in fact tonight was great and if it weren't for the two of them pestering me to get out i would still be in my room now probably playing games or watching YouTube until my eyes would have drooped shut. This was good for me and i knew it was what i needed to gt myself on track and i'm sure they new that to.

I said my goodbyes to the group Armin had introduced me to and just as we were leaving i heard foot step running up behind me and turned to see Krista smiling up at me.

"Before you go Eren i was wondering if i could have your number, then i can tell you when we are doing stuff if you want to come and hang out with us. Everyone else wants to be friends with you and i thought if we all had your number than it would be really nice..."  My number... everyone wants my number so we can stay in contact, now that is surprising. 

"S sure... i don't see why you guys would want me around but here sure." I handed her my phone as she passed me hers and i typed in my number which was quite hard because her phone was much smaller than my own so i kept pushing the wrong numbers but after a minute i had successfully entered the right combination of numbers.  

"Don't be silly Eren, you are a really nice guy and i had lots of fun talking to you, i better get back now because if i stay here to longer Ymir might think you are making a move on me and she would fry you down to the bone."

"Possessive then?"

"A little but mainly protective, i don't really mind though it makes me feel safe. Goodnight Eren hopefully i'll see you soon." Krista walked back towards the group waving over her shoulder. I stood and watched with my two childhood friends at my side as i could see Krista sharing my number around; i even saw Hanji looking over and entering it into her phone. It brought a big smile to my face.

"I'm proud of you Eren." I smiled at Mikasa.

"Me to, you did great."

"Thanks guys, for being here and making me go out i had fun and i made some nice friends but i think i am ready to go home now and sleep for a week because that tired me out so much."  

 

I went to bed with a grin plastered on my face, something i rarely do anymore as well as the giddy feelings i had in my stomach. My room was quiet and at the same time it was relaxing, so i turned to face the wall whispering quietly to myself as to not wake the other who were just across the hall.

"Goodnight Eren, you did good hopefully you will make some more friends really soon..." 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The news and a phone call bring forth new cautions and new people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave any comments or suggestions it would be much appreciated~

It was 4.17 am when i woke up, usually i was sound asleep well into the day but apparently today was different. When i woke it was usually to the sound of someone banging on my door asking me to get up for food or to at least see if i was alive but this time i awoke naturally. Which was a real pain because if i moved to much i would surely wake up Mikasa because she was a light sleeper and all hell would break loose if she woke up now. She was not a morning person at all. 

Last night was a big night for me so being awake this early really was a surprise; if anything i would have thought i'd sleep in until lunch time. But as it turns out i am wide awake. I don't think i could even make it to my Xbox on the other side of the room without waking my sleeping demon of a sister- guess i'll just have to put up with using my phone. That or i could grab my tablet, since it was sitting right by my bed waiting conventionally for me to pick it up and make use of it. It was a nice tablet, Mikasa brought it for me last year for my birthday so i could use the internet in places that weren't my room. 

Sitting up slowly to avoid the occasional creaking noises my bed i positioned myself nicely by stuffing a pillow behind my back and another one to place on my lap so i didn't have to hold up the tablet if i wanted to watch videos. I reached over and picked up the tablet which luckily still had charge; you'd expect it to if you left it plugged in for over a week. As i unlocked it i was faced with a friendly reminder that yes, this was in fact a tablet with windows 8. I had to admit that even though windows 8 was crappy and annoying i have gotten used to it; well slightly. 

With opening it many sections i could tap upon opened but the one that got my attention most for once was the news section. To be honest i was never someone who was that interesting in news events, unless that is that they were unusual and strange then i sometimes become slightly interested. It as Mikasa who was the one to keep up wit the latest happening events, nation and world wide. 

More importantly on to the latest trending news article. 

"This can not be happening." I mumbled to myself as i scrolled down the page, this was really bad news and for a second i was thinking about either running to wake the others up or deleting the videos. The headline read  **'The Hunt for The boy behind the mask'** and just below that was a link to a YouTube account. My account. I breathed in deeply through my nose as i started to read more in depth.

_Lately the growing fame of a certain you-tuber has grabbed the attention of an ever growing fan base which has struck up large groups online as the identity of the main singer is being debated. In the past few days the number of fans the 'MaskedVoices' have has sky rocketed and has drawn the attention of members of W.O.F. The wings of freedom journalism enterprise has spoken saying they are quit interested in unmasking the boy whom is the lead singer._

_Though not much is known about whether they plan to uncover the identities of the singer or if so; how they are going to under go that procedure. Though because of the large fan base and extreme number of views online it most likely won't be long until they announce if they are going to proceed finding out about the group._

 

I ran a hand through my hair and thought about the issue at hand; Armin had set up the account and the kid was a genius and had managed to set it up without leaving traces of who made it and when. I just had to put my trust in him and hope it didn't somehow lead people straight to us, but knowing Armin everything would and will still continue to go off without a hitch. 

There was a few more paragraphs in the article with the general public's statement about who they thought he could be. Most of them said about the same thing; guessing i was between 16 and 20- well they weren't wrong. that and i was brunette and the color of my eyes. Surprisingly most of the comments about my eyes were nice, though i had seen some online saying they were gross and made me look like a beast. I've learnt to ignore most of them by now thought. 

It was still rather strange to hear people making comments about my eyes though since it had been so long since someone new had looked at them, though these people weren't looking into my eyes directly is still felt strange; but ever so slightly nice to be noticed by people but not having to come forth. 

With a quick glance at the clock i noticed that only 15 minutes or so had past but i was still eager to get out of bed. Something must be very wrong for me to actually want to be getting up in the morning but for some reason i felt quite restless. It was very rare where i had moments like these were i felt like i had to be doing something instead of lazying around all day. 

Instead of going to watch videos like i originally planned i sat there tapping my fingers on the edge of the tablet humming ever so quietly to the beat. It was a familiar beat and i was trying to remember the name of the song but it wouldn't come to me. Maybe i'd remember it later on, that seemed to happen a lot when i'd forget something. But i guess all i could do for now was to settle back down and try to sleep for a bit longer even if it was only for another hour or so, i would be able to get away with at least getting up for a pee at that time since Armin seemed to wake up at around 6. I'd have to remember to tell them about the news when i got up; once i had gotten up properly this time. 

Setting the tablet back down beside my bed i made sure it was plugged in still before i pulled the pillows out so i could lay down once again. Still humming i turned towards the wall and closed my eyes hoping for at least a little more sleep.

 

For the second time today i woke up naturally, no banging on the door, no yelling Mikasa. I sat up and rubbed at my eyes waiting for them to re adjust to the light that had begun seeping in through my window. That and they were pretty saw, thinking back to last night i remembered not taking out my contact before i went to bed. Great my eyes will most likely be saw for a bit- I'll have to go rinse out my eyes soon.

I must have been quite exhausted last night because my curtains were still open- must have forgotten to close them. It was weird seeing my room so full of light but it was also a nice change now the only problem in here was the mess; i'd clean it eventually. 

Waiting another minute i slowly stood up and stretched my arms above me head before i sauntered over to my cupboard, it was even a mess in there. Half of my clothes must have been on the floor which is probably why i couldn't seem to find and hoodies hung up. Maybe it really was time to clean up in here a bit, then Mikasa would stop bugging me about it. 

Instead i picked up a hoodie from the floor and slipped it over my head and made my way towards the door, if i was going to clean it would have to wait until i had both eaten and talked to Mikasa and Armin about the article i read earlier this morning. It gave me chills thinking about the fact that people may be trying to figure out who i am; i wanted to remain anonymous for a reason. 

Moving into the hallway i could hear the television downstairs as well as both Mikasa's and Armin's voices. Good they were both up that would be better than me waiting around for them to wake up whilst i worried. 

I walked around into the bathroom and saw that i was correct in assuming i had left my contact in over night- it happened sometimes and it always resulted in me having irritated eyes for an hour or so before they stopped stinging. Great so i'd be going downstairs to tell the others about an article about me that was stressing me out with red eyes, they will probably think i have been crying about it all morning or something. Which i have not.

Picking up a hair clip i pinned down some of the hair covering my face so i could see what i was doing whilst i removed my contact. Yep, my eye definitely was red and quite irritated, but i knew that was coming. I stared into the golden color before i turned on the water and started to rinse my eye; i had eye drops for this sort of thing once but i lost them and god knows where they are now. Once i had rinsed a few times i dabbed the water off with a nearby towel before bringing the contact back up to my eye and putting it into place. At least with the contact in my eye looked slightly less red than it did without, but even so it was noticeable and there was no way it would go unnoticed when i got downstairs. 

 

"Hey Eren what are you looking at? Ever since you came downstairs all you've done is gaze out the window, is something wrong?"

"Just a little."  Id been sitting on the couch for about ten minutes now trying to think of how to tell both Mikasa and Armin what i had read so i decided i would just outright tell them; if i even had the courage to do that. As i was thinking about this i didn't notice i was staring out the window until Mikasa said something about it- of course she would notice i was acting strange, i never look out the window. Usually its got the curtains pulled across because i say its too bright and hurts my eyes. They have to believe it because of my heterochromia Iridum- its true sometimes light does bother my eyes but most of the time i just pretend it does so i can sit in a darker room. 

"What do you mean a little? Is someone being an ass to you? Do i need to go knock some sense into them?" 

"What no, don't be stupid its nothing like that..."

"Then what is it Eren?" Armin shuffled closer to me and gave me an encouraging smile. "Do you maybe want to talk about it, Mikasa and i will listen if you want to?"

"Yeah this is something we have to talk about and i don't think we will be able to avoid it so now is the best time to mention it."  

"So it is something series then?" Mikasa asked with a worried looking in her eyes, i just replied with a subtle nod of my head as she picked up the television remote and turned it off so the room was silent from all disrupting sounds. 

"You see this morning i woke up real early and i didn't want to wake either of you up so thought i would just watch videos or something like i do all the time. But you know how on windows 8 it has the weird Windows page that has apps and news and everything on it?" I got more nods form the both of them and took it as a cue to keep going.

"Then i saw the news section and what was there ... really caught my eye. And not in a good way either."

"What do you mean, what was there? Was there an accident or something?" 

"No no no, that's not it Armin. It was us, there was an article about us." Mikasa and Armin's faces both looked shocked for a minute before Mikasa spoke up.

"Doesn't that just mean we are popular, our views have been climbing heaps since the last clip so i'm not that surprised we have caught peoples attention."

"Yes but we have caught too much attention is what i am saying, apparently the Wings of Freedom are quite curious as to who we are. They might even begin a search into finding out our identities Mikasa. Maybe you two are okay with having your faces known but i don't and this is really scaring me and..." Armin placed a hand on my arm drawing slow circles with his thumb.

"Don't panic Eren, when i set up the account i made sure there was no way for anyone to backtrack and get any information about us, or you, okay? The only way anyone will ever figure out who you are is if you tell them yourself, okay?"

"That's a good way to think about it, thanks Armin. But i am still really worried about it you know..."

"Is that why your eyes are red then?" Trust Mikasa to bring that up now. 

"Nope i just left my contacts in over night again so they are a bit saw."

"I thought maybe you had been crying and that's why they were red, but i didn't say anything cause i thought you'd tell me eventually..." 

"I haven't been crying Mikasa alright?"

"If you say so, you are allowed to cry though you know Eren?"

"Yeah i know that, but there is nothing i can do about all this i suppose so i will have to just hope they don't start searching."

"It'll be alright Eren, no one suspects you now and nobody will tomorrow or that days after that." Trust Armin to sound intelligent while trying to reassure me everything would be okay. Either way though after telling them i felt as a weight had been lifted off my shoulders- it sounds cliched and all but its true. 

"Yeah i know, thanks guys for listening and stuff, but on another note. Iv'e had this song stuck in my head for awhile and i can't figure out what it is and it is annoying me so so much."

"Well..." Armin brushed his bangs away from his face slightly- i would tell him to cut them but i think how his hair now suits him perfectly. "Do you want to sing a bit then?"

"I can't I've only got the tune of the song, the words aren't coming to me..." 

"How about you just hum the tune then and i'll see if i can figure it out?"

"While you boys do that i'm going to call Annie before she goes to work, do you need anything before i go?" I swear they must be dating, what is the definition of dating, they call each other everyday and go out all the time together, and from what i hear they both enjoy each others company. And that is saying something if Annie enjoys being with someone and has fun they must have something really special going on.

"Nope i don't, what about you Eren?"

I shook my head. "No i think i am all good now. Thanks Mika."

"Don't be silly you are like a brother to us Eren and neither of us mind if your worried, scared or sad and want to talk okay, just remember that."

"Hmm okay i will, have fun talking to Annie." I smirked to myself as she turned and walked out of the room.

"So Eren, get humming then."

"Yeah yeah." I started humming the tune that was stuck in my head and luckily for me Armin picked right up on the song straight away i hadn't even been humming for five seconds when he started to hum along with me until i couldn't remember anymore of the tune.

"Because of you, that's what it's called, it is a bit of a sad song really but now that you know what it is i guess you can look up the lyrics or something."

"Yep i plan to." I said with a smile pulling my phone out of my pocket and entering the song name into YouTube and finding a lyric video which i continued to play out loud, i knew Armin wouldn't mind.

"Any particular reason you wanted to figure out the name of the song so badly?"

"I don't know it was just getting on my nerves how i had the tune but not the name you know, maybe we could use it for the next video or something? It'll be like a little inside joke about how forgetful i am." Now that i had the song playing i remembered it and i was surprised i had forgotten the name and even most of the lyrics; usually i remember most of the songs i listen to especially if i take a liking to them.

"Sounds good, i am surprised you have finally admitted to being forgetful though. After all these years who would have thought you were forgetful, what's next? You'll be telling me your clumsy to? I shook my head and turned the music off my phone before slipping it back into my pocket.

 "Shut up Armin i can't help it if i forget stuff sometimes, i'm just surprised because i usually always remember music that i listen to, maybe my brain is slowing down or something..."

"Eren you are 18 your brain shouldn't be slowing down yet, in fact it is still developing so..." Armin's eyes started to sparkle slightly so before he could continue talking i held my hand up in front of his face to stop him.

"Armin stop. I feel the nerd pulses hitting me already, you know i won't understand a word of what you are about to say right?" After being friends with Armin for a long time i started to notice when he was going to go into full on intelligence mode because his eyes would get brighter, sometimes it even looked like they were sparkling. 

"Sorry sorry, its really interesting though, how the body works and all..."

"Yeah i know, well i don't but i guess i will leave the knowledge up to you Mr. smart ass." Armin and i talked for a bit longer, switching on the television again; there wasn't really much on though so we just flicked between awful reality shows and talking until i felt a slight vibration run through my leg. My phone, that's strange. Who would even have my number apart from ... oh yeah. I remembered giving my number about to the other guys at he bar, i guess it could be one of them but why would they be calling in the first place? Its not like it would be Mikasa or Armin for obvious reasons i was with Armin now and Mikasa was busy talking to Annie.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and looked at the screen to identify the caller, honestly i had only just met her but i wasn't surprised to find Hanji's name pop up. I had gotten along quite well with her and i felt we had quite a lot in common and it was nice being able to talk to somebody new that slightly understood what i was going through. Without thinking about it too much i pushed the answer button with my phone and brought it to my ear whilst mouthing the work Hanji to Armin so he would understand.

As soon as the phone was at my ear my ear drums were assaulted by a high pitch squeal. I really wish the sound on my phone was turned down right at that moment as both my ears were ringing. 

"OH MY GOD EREN I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD REALLY PICK UP." I pulled the phone away slightly so i didn't have to have the full force of her in my ear, i could still hear her though even though the phone was about 20 centimeters from me. I am guessing even Armin could hear her from the look on his face, i would even say he looked kind of smug. He must have known that if Hanji called she would be loud-or something like that. 

"Uh yeah i did there wasn't really much of a reason not to you know... also you don't have to yell at me i can hear you."

"Oh sorry i guess i just got a bit excited there for a moment." I heard her giggle slightly and i swear i could feel her happiness radiating through the speaker of the phone. I wonder how Armin even met her, i remember him telling me once though that is quite a faded memory.

"So did you need anything?" I was still completely unsure as to why she was calling, most people call for a reason right? Otherwise you could just send a text message or something.

"Oh me yes, two things actually."

"Go on?"

"One i wanted to say hello because can't a friend talk to another friend?"

"No i suppose you can do that, what about the second reason?"

"The second reason is... youshouldcomebacktothebarandparty."

"Wait what, i didn't get any of that." By now Armin had walked out of the room so it was just me so i took the chance and put my feet up on the coffee table, if any of them came in now they would kill me for it. You had to rebel sometimes.

"You should come back to the bar Eren, it was good fun so come back and party away with me yeah?" Party away, but we went out just the other day?

"But we only just went ou..."

"Ereeeeen, please it'll be fun."

"Look i don't know Hanji last night was a big step for me and i don't know if i can do it again so quickly..."

"But you may as well keep going. You made some friends right? Your on a roll Eren why stop now?" I couldn't help but smile at Hanji's encouraging words. I hadn't even thought about going out so quickly after last night but in a way Hanji was right. There wasn't anything stopping me but myself and maybe i was on a roll i did make some friends maybe if i...

"Eren you don't have to so don't feel pressured into it, but i think it really would be great if you could come down. I'd be there so it wouldn't be like you are alone if that is what is worrying you, i'm not going to be working either so i won't have to rush off anywhere so if you want..."

"I'll do it, well i mean i'll come." Why i said yes, i wasn't really sure maybe it was the fact that i had only just met Hanji and she was already willing to do so much to try and help me out, or maybe it was that i subconsciously wanted to go out. Either way i felt like i had just said yes to the devil as more squealing sounds started coming from the phone.

 "OH MY GOD REALLY?"

"Well yeah, i don't see why not... i guess."

"DO YOU WANT ME TO COME PICK YOU UP? I CAN DO THAT IF YOU WANT?"

"No it should be okay i can get Mikasa to drive me down or something." 

"Don't be silly Eren." I was glad she was no longer yelling in my ear, she must have remembered what i said earlier on. "We are in... the area anyway." Well that sounded slightly suspicious to me, what does she mean 'we are in the area anyway'. Wait we? Who the hell is she even with?

"What do you mean we? And how do you know you are even close to where i live?"

"Eren i'm friends with Armin of course i know where you live, i have even been in your bedroom believe it or not." Now that was just a tad bit creepy- how come she failed to mention this to me when we meet yesterday... then again saying 'Hi i'm Hanji i have been in your bedroom before might be more creepy than the situation i am facing now. 

"That worries me slightly, but you didn't answer my other question. You said we are you with someone else because you know how i'm like... with people."

"Awh don't worry about him, he is a total sof... OUCH." I heard grumbling on the other end of the line for a second before the sound of Hanji's laughter could be heard- for a second there i thought she may have gotten hurt.

"Hey Hanji are you okay over there?"

"Yeeep, Leviii is just being a sour puss. Right Leviii?" I thought i heard a few mutters of 'shitty glasses' before Hanji once again resurfaced. 

"So Eren, we are just outside your house of you want to come down, we have been sitting here for 5 minutes already and i don't think Mr. grumpy pants here can handle having to wait to go get a drink any longer." 5 minutes... 

"WAIT HAVE YOU BEEN OUTSIDE MY HOUSE THIS WHOLE TIME HANJI?"

"Uh yeah of course i have, i did say i was in the area didn't i?" She sounded completely innocent, like it was normal for her to randomly sit outside of someones house calling them like that. If it was anyone other than her doing it i would probably go hide in my closet or something.

"Oh my god... Okay okay give me a minute to get changed and tell the others where i am going."

"Okayyy its just the black car outside when you are ready head over."

"Yep okay then."

"Oh and before you go Eren."

"Yeah?"

"Levi says your shoes better be clean or he'll... LEVI THAT ISN'T NICE YOU CANT JUS" The call was suddenly cut off and it left me wondering what this 'Levi' was going to say. He must be strange if he is a friend of Hanji's though and i am sure if Hanji thought he would bother me Levi wouldn't be here so i guess i will have to place my trust in here. Levi would be a nice guy right?

Making sure i was dressed presentably i bounded down the stairs in grey jeans and a hoodie, it was casual but still dressy at the same time. It surprised me that i looked this nice when nobody else helped em pick out my outfit but what the hell right. What surprised me more was the fact that i was excited to go out. 

"Mikasa? Armin? I am going out with Hanji ill be back later!" Armin came around the corner smiling at me.

"Mikasa went to Annie's just a moment ago so you missed her. Have fun while you are out Ereen." The way he sung my last time had me raising an eyebrow, was he teasing me? Did he knew something i didn't? Or was it my hair- i knew it was messy but i could never manage to tame it so i left it alone. I think messy hair is a part of who i am now anyway.

"... I will, i have my phone on me so ill text you if i need anything then."

"Sure i'll let Mikasa know where you are because if she comes home and you aren't here she will flip her shit."

"God yeah good idea Arm." I gave him a final wave as i walked out the door staring as i closed it in front of me. Why was i nervous to turn around? It was just Hanji, well and her friend but i was still nervous.

Stopping myself from thinking about it too much i walked over to the car- the closer i got to it though the more visible it became. It was a van. Well i think it was a van i was never really much of a car person so i could be wrong but to me this looked like a van.

It didn't take long for Hanji to practically jump out from the other side of the car and catch me in between her arms in what felt like a death grip. Imagine if i suffocated here like this, that would be really unfortunate. Imagine having a tombstone saying 'hugged to death by a crazy lady'. Luckily today wasn't the day i would die such a horrid death.

"Jeez shitty glasses you'll kill the brat." Who? Wait who is he calling bra... I strong pair of hands grabbed hold of my shoulders and pulled me back slightly about of Hanji's grip. He must be strong if he can save someone from a grip like that but more importantly there were still two hands rested on my shoulders and my back leaning against who i presumed to be Levi's chest. I stood frozen in place for a second to see a shocked look on Hanji's face suddenly turn extremely excited.

"Oh my god Levi." She started jumping up and down on her feet. "You touched him! you touched him!" He what? His hands oh yeah. Just as i thought that said hands were removed from my body but my back stayed pressed against his chest.

"yeah so you wouldn't fucking strangle the kid. Look he is probably pissed scared and wants to go inside where he can hide now."

"No he's fine. Right Eren." It took me a moment to register that they were talking to me as i was focused on the movement of breathing coming from behind me.

"Y yeah, i'm good thanks uh..." I turned around and took my first look at the man behind me and felt the heat rise to my checks.

"It's Levi."

"I, i know that." I quickly turned back around away from his face in a desperate attempt to avoid his eyes, they were so intensive yet beautiful and rich. Hanji was once again giggling, i began to wonder if she would ever stop.

"Well come on Kiddies how about we go get ourselves some alcohol?" I nodded at her, trying my best not to look at Levi who just grunted and got back inside the car. This would be a long car ride.


	5. Out N About

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about how long this took guys :C  
> I have exams really soon and my mum is on my back about it 24/7 so i haven't had much time at all but have this really late chapter!

Luckily for me the bar was only a short drive away because i wasn't sure how much of Hanji's constant chatter i could take. It had only been about two minutes and she had probably spoke enough to half fill a novel and i'm not even kidding. By now we had covered at least three topics, something about Nazi Germany, her latest science experiment which included exploding toads and now the current subject of debate was how many days you should get off work per year. I could say for sure Hanji seemed to be losing at convincing this Levi guy by look slightly defeated look she had on her face. Speaking of her face, it had suddenly gotten rather close to my own.

"What about you then Eren? How many days off a year do you get?"

"Oh i don't work so... everyday i suppose..." Hanji stared at me for a moment before backing away slightly shaking her head.

"Oh year sorry Eren i didn't think of that, i suppose that makes sense though." Luckily she left it at that and went back to speaking with Levi who i could see looking at me out of the corner of his eye. Hanji obviously hadn't told him about my situation with people or i'm sure he wouldn't be giving me that look. Or maybe she had and that was why he was glaring at me, was it even a glare? The whole 5 minutes I've been in his presence his expression has not changed a bit and for some reason it was giving me the chills, that and i was starting to feel a little bit intimidated. 

He then quickly turned away though and i let out a breath i didn't know i had been holding. Thankfully neither one of them asked me to join in on the conversational topics the rest of the way there because i wasn't sure if i was comfortable enough to be stared down upon by Levi again. Any way who even was he? Maybe he's Hanji's boyfriend or something but then again if he was shouldn't he be nicer to her.

Really i don't particularly care who he is as long as be doesn't bother me, glare or talk to me i should be fine, after all if Hanji didn't think i would be comfortable there is no way should would have brought me back out with her. She related to me so maybe i should just sit back and try and let her help me, especially all she has done with me is be nice so far so i think it was safe to say i had put some trust in her and she was Armin's friend so it can't be too bad otherwise Armin would have made me stay home as well. Now that i think about it though he did seem a bit smug when i was back at home, even more so when my phone rang after he had been asking me about it... though i'm sure there wasn't any true meaning behind it. He was probably just messing with me or something or prank call me. I wouldn't be surprised because he and Mikasa have both done that before.

"Hey Eren?"

"Oh yeah, sorry?" Hanji was smiling at me from the front seat and i could see we had stopped outside of the same bar we were at last night, i also took note that Levi had already left and i could see him walking through the front door.

"We are here now as i think you just noticed, but more importantly are you okay? Is there maybe something bothering you?"

"No not really, Armin was just acting a bit strange at home so i think he is probably trying to prank me again or something and believe me last time he tried the whole house was a mess and it took us hours to get it cleaned up.

"Really sounds like a lot of fun, minus the cleaning bit though."

"Yeah well it was quite funny..." We sat in silence for a minute just staring out of the windows before turned around properly in her seat to face me.

"Eren you don't look very ... well comfortable do you just want me to take you home or something?" I was already here now so honestly i don't think going home was the option i wanted to pick, with Hanji's help as well as Mikasa and Armin i was determined to get out and make some more friends. And if accompanying Hanji and Levi was the way i was going to do that tonight then so be it.

"No no no, its just." I brought my hand up and rubbed my eyes a habit i do when i am slightly nervous. "It's just Levi. Don't get me wrong though i am sure he is a nice guys and all but, but."

"He is scary looking right." Hanji offered up her opinion with a smile and i could help but smile back even if it was fake.

"Yeah he is kind off."

"I know what you mean Eren don't worry, and your right he is a great guy so much so that he is my best friend. I just want you to know he isn't as bad as he seems even if he always looks grumpy or mad, that's just how he is because he isn't the best at conveying how he feels. I'm sure if you guys sit down and talk you'd be best of friends... well as close as you can get with Levi anyway, he doesn't even refer to me as a friend."

"Hmm... why doesn't he think of you as a friend though, you guys seem quite close?"

"You see Eren we are friends he is just to stubborn to admit to it because he doesn't really think he needs anything else in his life other than work, his old piano and his cleaning products."

"Huh?" 

"Lets just say Levi likes to think being alone in life is exactly what he wants but subconsciously i don't think that is true or i am sure he would have pushed me away by now. Though he doesn't seem very kind, deep down he really is a softie but to see that side of him you really have to earn it." I nodded my head vaguely understanding where she was coming from but still not completely trusting of her words. Though her words did strike some cord within me because i realized that is almost what i think, after all i don't let people in and i see no point in letting people into my life because i didn't need them. But that was the thought process i was trying to re-write so i dismissed it with a shake of my head before smiling at Hanji trying to look slightly more relaxed.

"So Hanji are we going to go in... or no?"

"Oh sorry sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were 100% okay before we went in to be safe, so you good Eren?"

"Yeah i'm good lets head on in." I could do this, both Mikasa and Armin would be proud and i found myself looking forward to seeing the smiles on their faces when i got home, and again when one day i would be the one asking them to come out with me. Hopefully that would be real soon.

Hanji nodded and didn't speak a word as we got out of the car, i didn't bring a bag because there was no point in lugging it around but i checked to see if my phone and wallet was still in my pocket and luckily for me they were. If they weren't there i would have just been sitting around and the fact that i wouldn't' be able to contact Armin or Mikasa was a terrifying thought especially since i wasn't as near to them as i was used to.

I heard to lock of the car click in place and before i knew it i was walking into the bar for a second night in a row to hang out with Hanji and her maybe boyfriend? As soon as we walked through the doors the sound of music flooded through my ears and i didn't feel quite as nervous anymore. I was glad for music being my one source of calming down, over the years music has been the one way i have been able to forget everything else happening around me and i felt lucky that this bar had it playing over a set of speakers i could make out on the other side of the room. Because when i was here last night i didn't spend much time out in the bar itself i finally had time to look around and honestly the place seemed to have been taken care of quite well. The tables all looked like they had been wiped down not too long ago and all the staff where dressed casually but quite neatly at the same time. There were disco lights of all colors all around the room highlighting a dance floor where a group of women that looked to be in their 30s dancing and jumping around whilst giggling hysterically. There were people sitting around at tables and the bar chatting casually and not one of them glanced my way and for that i was extremely thankful. 

Though the bar seemed to have a larger number of people than the night before i felt comfortable here, there weren't any particular groups of people that looked nasty nor where there any loud groups, they were all just talking normally whilst having a drink with their mates

The closest group to where i stood was made up of 3 people who briefly looked up as we walked passed and gave us a nod before returning to what they were doing.

It was just so calming, so many people but yet nit much of a noise. Apart form the music.

The song. The voices. It was nice and because of that i felt a smile pulling at the corners of my mouth.

"Thank you Hanji." 

"Hmm?" She stopped walking, turning her head towards me. 

"Just thank you..." 

"Don't worry about it really, sometimes we all just need someone to ... to well pull us out of that dark hole."

"Yeah you are right." I looked down toward my hands which were clenched together enough that they going white along the knuckles. "Its just that i am really grateful. A week ago i never would have believed i would be out at a bar, let alone twice in a row with someone who just decided they would be my friend right off the bat." The white in my knuckles faded slightly but not completely as i looked up at Hanji trying to find some form of exception for what i just said. Though as well as that i got the largest smile and a few giggles before she grabbed both my hands and dragged me further into the bar without another word until we reached a table in the back corner, where we found Levi seated with a row of shots lined up waiting.

He raised an eyebrow at Hanji and i as we arrived, probably because she was still holding onto my hand. She held on for another second while she stared down at him with an almost amused look in her eye before dropping my hand and finding a seat next to Levi. I was glad that she choose to sit next to him and not on the other side of the table because this way i could still have some space to myself and by the look on her face right now as i pulled out the chair she knew that to. This woman sure was good at reading people, again i was glad about this trait of hers. 

"Okay then boys how about we kick off tonight already shall we?"

"Well i was ready five minutes ago four-eyes but you took so fucking long that i nearly started without you."

"Awh Levi i feel so honored that you waited for m.. us. Don't you think Eren wasn't that nice of Mr Grumpy pants here?"

Both Hanji and Levi looked at me, Levi curiosity and Hanji well her eyes her just really bright and i felt like i shouldn't disappoint so i didn't hold back. If Levi could speak like that and Hanji was still around him it would be okay to have some check right? Hopefully. 

"Oh yeah its great but" I smirked up at the both of them. "you are a little impatient Mr. Grumpy pants."

"Ahh i see the kid does have some bark after all." He picked up his shot and held it up towards his lips with a slightly annoyed look on him face. The jerk, he had no idea what i had gone through.  

"Come on Levi go easy on him, you said you would try play nice."

"Play nice Hanji my ass."

"Ew Levi i don't wanna play with your ass."

"Buttt..." He drew out the 't' obviously trying to enhance the butt in his statement. "It is a nice ass."

"That it is and i don't deny that one bit but damn find someone else who is more into sticking their fingers up people ass's." 

"Trust me shitty glasses i wouldn't want your fingers anywhere near me or my ass thank you very much. I would like to avoid all of those diseases you are probably carrying from all the discussing creatures in your house."

"That was quite rude i would make an excellent girlfriend." Excellent girl... friend, wait. What.

"Wait up..." I pointed between the two of them "you guys ... aren't dating...?" The look on Levi's face was one of absolute disgust and instead of answering my question he downed his shot in a split second before he reached out for Hanji's and downed hers as well. While she just sat there with the goofiest grin on her face before she started laughing. Correction, before she started cackling hysterically as Levi just sat there like he was completely done with her shit.

"Two things brat one. That is one of the most disgusting things i have ever heard, who would wanna spend anymore time with this lunatic than necessary In fact who would want to spend time with her in the first place she is bat shit crazy, and if you haven't smelt bat shit then lucky you because it is feral. and secondly i. am. fucking. gay. and if you don't like it get the fuck out right now." 

"what no... i didn't. its i ... i just thought you guys were like an item or something..."

"What in the name of hell would make you think that?"

"Uhh ... you seem close?"

"We seem close. You think i am going out with Hanji because we seem close."

"You do seem close though." 

"Just because people are close kid doesn't mean they have to be fucking each other." I looked down at the glass in front of me which was still untouched and i felt the slightest bit of guilt running through me for 'upsetting' Levi.  

"What i know that... look i'm sorry to offend you alright."

"Whatever." By now Hanji's giggling had dialed down a few tones and she didn't appear to be quite as happy as she was before instead she was frowning at Levi who just shrugged his shoulders before turning to face the opposite direction. 

We all sat in silence for a few minutes in order to give Levi his 'cool down time' or something like that before Hanji spoke to the both of us.

"Okay boys this is going a bit worse off than i expected, Eren didn't mean you any harm Levi he was just being curious and it isn't like he has been the first person to assume that is it?" She held up her hand to obviously stop him from interrupting to which he just crossed his arms and sighed letting her continue. "I am sure you guys will get along well you just have to stop being grouchy cause you are on your mad period Levi."

"Excuse you. I am not on my man period Hanji." 

"You so are."

"I am not, I've just had a really long day at work alright. Just get me another drink or something."

"You have already had two. One of which was mine"

"You and i both know it takes a lot to get me drunk i think it'll be okay, besides i have work tomorrow so i'll have to keep the remainder of my brain cells safe so don't you go killing them off."

"Alright but that means i will be driving later, you got that?" He sighed before nodded his head "Yeah i got you just go get me a drink." Hanji didn't move from her seat. "Come on Hanji please?"

"Awh you used the magic word, ill get right to it hunny don't you threat that little ass."

"Ohh my goddd Hanji, go."

"I'm going I'm going."  Hanji looked down at me seeing if i was alright i'm guessing so i answered her silent question with a nod of my had before i motioned to the bar. She smiled at me mouthed a quick thank you and she was off, leaving me here with Levi. Alone with Levi.

I was expecting him to insult me but instead her just sat there in silence on his phone so really got a chance to look at him. To be honest he was pretty good looking, his hair was short and neatly kept in place with what looked like an undercut maybe? It looked a bit like some sort of military haircut you would see on shows on television so maybe he was one of those guys in the army or something scary like that. I could never be image being in the army myself that would be god damn terrifying if you ask me. I couldn't really get a good look at his eyes because they were looking down at his phone but from what i had seen earlier while he was arguing with Hanji they were a dark gray kind of color that i hadn't seen before. Not that i could really accuse him of having weird eyes when i have enough of a problem with that issue myself.

I wonder what Levi and Hanji would think if they saw my eyes, probably freak out and call me disgusting or something like that, well maybe not Hanji she seemed a bit more accepting than Levi did. Either way it wasn't like they were going to see my eyes any time soon, or ever for that matter so that was one thing i didn't have to worry about in this particular moment instead my attention drifted back towards Levi.

His clothes were something i could appreciate though. A white shirt tucked in by the looks of it with a light black blazer draped against his shoulders. What really made me smile was the strange piece of material hanging from his neck, it was another thing i had seen on television but i couldn't quite remember what it was called though, either way it suited him. 

I couldn't see what pants he was wearing though because the table was in the way but my guess what some sort of jeans, black would probably suit this look the best. He seemed like the kind of person to wear a lot of dark colors.

"Oi brat" I looked up from the table obstructing my view to Levis legs to find him looking my way with an eyebrow raised. Of course he had caught me staring at him. "Do you want a picture or something, you know the shit they say about it lasting longer and all?" 

"What no, its fine... Sorry i didn't mean to stare or offend you or anything." I looked away to avoid the looks i would probably give me if once again he started to get annoyed at me but instead all i got out of him was a click of the tongue before he went back to whatever it was he was doing. Leaving us sitting in an uncomfortable silence once again, but hey at least he didn't yell at me or get mad this time. 

Instead of staring at Levi this time i kept my gaze focus on the table in font of me as a began to count the groves in the wood, i had made it to at least 37  when a hand was waved between my face and the plank of wood.

"Huh." I looked up and to my surprise Levi was looking at me with the slightest bit of concern on his face and...

"Jeez kid, people are going to think there is nobody home if you blank out like that?"

"Is that a lip piercing?"

"Yeah, they are snake bites. Why?"

"I was just asking, they are pretty cool didn't they hurt?"

"Not really no."

"Do you have any others?"

"Well you have suddenly gotten rather talkative brat, and yes i do?" 

"Do you mind if i ask where?"

"3 in each each ear and that's it, used to have one in my eye brow but that shit looked disgusting so i took it out and let it heal over." Levi pulled the hair back from over his ears so i could see, each ear had one different piercing from the other but they looked quite cool on Levi. I was never one for them at all but i could appreciate when they looked good on a person, and they definitely looked good on Levi. I hummed in approval and Levi let his hair fall back into place. "So now that you are no longer shitting yourself over there do you maybe want to introduce yourself to me, or am i going to have to keep using brat as your name?" 

"I thought Hanji already told you my name though?" In fact i was sure she did, i remember her saying it while we were outside when Levi... i had completely forgotten about that. I found my face heating up a little at the thought of being pulled against someones chest.

"Yeah but isn't i polite to introduce yourself properly to someone especially if you are going to be seeming them a lot more? And also it is just your name kid you don't have to look so embarrassed it isn't like i am asking you about your kinks or something." 

"WH WHAT?" He smirked at my reaction and rested his elbows on the edge of the table.

"Well?"

"Um well" I sucked a breath in through my nose trying to push out the comment he made about my kinks and tried to focus on some small talk. "My name is Eren Jeager and i am 18 and i was born in Germany and yeah that is all there is to know about me."

"Well Eren i am Levi"

"Nice to meet you... but what did you mean we are going to be seeing each other a lot more?" 

"Kid you think now that Hanji has caught you in her tangled web she is going to let you go?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Welcome to life with the added aspect of Hanji Zoey, expect calls at ungodly hours of the morning, constant pestering, lots of loud noises, surprise visits and the occasional explosion that will most likely lead to visits from the police department." Visits from the police, who was this woman? I was going to have to talk to Armin about his choice of friends because it looks like he has landed me in a life of restless nights and possible visits from a maniac.

"Explosions... and the police? who is this woman?"

"Don't ask me kid, to hell if i know."

"But are you serious about the police though?"

"Yeah but that has only happened twice so it isn't something to be worried about."

"What the hell do you mean it has only happened twice?"

"Just some explosions in her apartment which lead to the police being called, really kid it isn't that big of a deal its not like anyone died."

"Who even lets off bombs in their house in the first place..." I mumbled to myself wondering what the hell i gotten myself into by becoming Friends with this woman. 

"Who ever said anything about bombs?"

"Huh, but you said there were explosions."

"Yeah from her cooking dumb ass, trust me do not ever let that witch into your kitchen." 

"God, remind me to tell Armin not to let her inside ever again..."

"Armin?"

"Yeah Armin."

"Hanji was on the phone to someone called Armin this morning."

"She was, why?"

"I dunno her call involved lots of giggling though so probably something that will not be pleasant at all."

"Well he was acting a little weird this morning." Thinking back to it he kept checking up to me to see if i had gotten any calls which for him to be doing something like that there be something up. "You see with Armin he likes to play the occasional prank so he is most likely plotting one of his little schemes."

"And that's why he called Hanji?"

"Maybe all i know is that they have known each other for a while so maybe she is in on this one or something?"

"Oh great..." Levi ran a hand through his hair pushing it back from his face and i couldn't help but look again. His face looked flawless, his eyes were indeed  dark gray color but with the slightest hint of blue in them, they were stunning but they seemed to be full of so much sorrow and i couldn't help but wonder why.

My mother always used to say to me the eyes were everyone hide their stories because they were so honest in reflecting these stories you just had to get close enough for the person to let you look in deep enough to bring them out. I never quite understood though because i was never able to understand why people would hide things in their eyes, but now i was able to realize she was talking about the emotion you can see in them and how these emotions tell different stories.  

I always wondered if me covering up my eye would cover up the stories it held but really if that was the consequence that came with covering it up i was okay with that.  The only stories that eye held were ones of me and my mother anyway so it wasn't like anybody else needed to see those, they were specially reserved for me, and the occasional friend like Armin and Mikasa.

"Eren you haven't had your drink yet."

"Hmm?" i looked up to see Hanji standing in front of me with another couple of shots and a glass of water. 

"No i guess i haven't." I offered her a quick smile and picked up my glasses, to tell the truth i had absolutely no idea what it was but that didn't seem to stop me as i tipped my head back swallowing the whole lot. I knew that Hanji was a crazy person now from both Levi and Armin's stories of her but i trusted her enough not to spike my drink after all she didn't seem like that kind of person. 

"So i trust Levi didn't kill you while i was gone then?"

"Nar were good i think, right Levi?"

"Tsh."

"Well i am glad you two seem to be getting along better than before, but more importantly WHO WANTS TO COME AND DANCE WITH MEEE?"

"No way in hell four eyes. Eren will though."

"Le- Levi?!" I saw him smirk at me as Hanji grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the dance floor behind her. God that ass looked completely pleased with himself; enough so that her turned around in his seat so he was facing our way as if he was waiting for something interesting to happen. And believe me something would definitely happen, they would either include me making a huge fool out of myself, or me making an either bigger fool out of myself so either way it looked like i was in for some levels of embarrassment. 

I felt like Levi had shipped me off to this horrible world of embarrassment first hand by telling Hanji i would dance with her, it wasn't that i didn't like dancing or anything because in fact i loved it. Not as much as singing though but it did come as second place because it still involved getting into the music and if you wanted to you could still completely put your heart and soul into it. But right now that was something i couldn't do with this being a public place and all, i really just didn't want to draw the attention to myself. not to brag or anything but i knew i could dance, i was told i could dance and i had seen the videos of me doing so myself so i am sure if i properly let myself go there would be eyes on me. That was something that i definitely wanted to avoid so in order for me to do that i had to consciously keep my enthusiasm levels on the down low.  But on the other hand i was still scared to dance here, the only places i had danced before involved my bedroom and the studio and there the only people that had seen me were Mikasa, Armin and Pixis whereas here the number of spectators was a much larger number than 3. 

 I looked at Hanji as we arrived on the edge of the dance floor to find a huge smile on her face and i couldn't help but feel slightly bad about not particularly wanting to come out and dance with her even though she had already made such a huge effort to help me out. In a way i suppose i owed her this dance and i think she understood that was what i was saying when i held out my hand to her with a small smile.

She took hold of it with out any hesitation and gave it a small squeeze before she gave me a little spin so i was facing her as she grabbed hold on my second hand her smile growing by the second and somehow seeing that helped me shake off a bit of the worry i was having. 

 

It wasn't long before i was able to dance around with Hanji without being to scared about my surroundings and soon i was jumping and spinning around like an idiot with her. I made sure not to include any dance moves that looked rehearsed instead sticking to the 'i don't know what the hell i am doing here dance but hey look i can still jump'. And i had to admit i was having a lot of fun, nobody had payed any attention to us apart from Levi who i just learned to ignore because all he was doing was sitting there with another drink hiding his face, probably because he was laughing or something. Either way his stare did make me a little unsettled but i was glad he didn't speak up or come over and tell me that i looked like an idiot, because trust me i knew seeming Hanji and i had stepped on each others feat numerous times already. 

"I'm glad Eren." 

"Huh, what for?"

"You seem to be enjoying yourself a bit more now, and you look overall much happier." 

"Yeah i guess your right. When we first came in i was a bit nervous in case people looked at me or something but its okay because once i look around" I stopped jumping and turned around surveying the room with a smile on my face, i even glanced across at Levi who in turn raised his eyebrow in question. "I see that everyone here is doing exactly what i am doing." I smiled at Hanji and begun dancing around again moving side to side and using my arms and shoulders a bit more. 

"And what exactly are you doing here?" At first her question confused me a little because i thought that i was only here because she asked me to be but i realized that wasn't what she meant. As i whole what was i doing here instead of being at home, why was i trying suddenly.

"I guess i am here to move on and try to have some fun."

"You bet you are Eren!" 

After that Hanji and i danced around for a few more songs and i got slightly more creative with my dance moves but not enough to get people questioning me about it. Hanji got more clumsy as time went on which caused her to stumble around quite a lot bumping into me as well as other people but luckily not that many people minded that much and just brushed it off with a smile and got back to their own dancing.

"Everyone looks like that they are used to you bumping into them."

"Well that's because it is true."

"What really i was only joking around about that."

"No no really a lot of people here are regulars so they are used to me stumbling around, they are good people and sometimes if i am lucky they will dance around with me for a bit. BUT tonight i have you to dance around with so it is good. Levi never comes out and dances with me because he is too ... well he is just Levi and he isn't the kind of person that jumps at this kind of activity you know?"

"Yeah i suppose, he doesn't really look much like and athletic person to me."

"But that's where you are wrong Eren, he is really fit. Got a full 6 pack going on and everything from working out."

"Wow i wasn't really expecting that."

"Not many people do they think just because he is 'short' that he is fragile but honestly he is the most strongest person i have met, it is just that he doesn't enjoy activities where he has to put himself out there much. Instead he tends to just focus on his work."

"Oh i see."

"Anyway enough talk about Mr grumpy pants, how about we get another drink before we take you back home yeah?" I looked across the wall at one of the clocks to see it was getting late and the others would most likely be expecting me back soon.

"Sounds good but just water maybe?"

"Coming right up Sir." We walked back across towards the bar where Levi was seated before Hanji left to get the drinks herself.

"Have fun prancing around then brat?"

"... a little."

"lucky you, at least some of us are having fun around here."

"your not then?"

"Fuck no it is way too noisy tonight all i could hear was you two hyenas laughing away."

"sorry..." I looked down at my hands feeling a bit bad that Levi wasn't enjoying himself because i had been to noisy. I didn't even think to myself once that he wouldn't be having a good time i only focused on myself leaving him to...

"Hey Eren here is your water." I looked up to see Hanji with 3 glasses of water who i guessed was for each of us. She handed me mine and i drank it after saying a quick thank you while both Levi an her drank their own. As we all drank the table became silent but Hanji wasn't going to have that for a second.

"Okay Levi what did you say to the boy?"

"What makes you think i said anything to him shitty-glasses?"

"Uh maybe the fact that he has lost all of his livelihood while i was gone for about 2 minutes."

"i just told him it was too noisy."

"Too noisy?"

"Yes like i said. Too noisy."

"Levi stop being such a grumpy pants."

"No i shall act however i want to thank you very much." Hanji turned to me and winked at me before whispering into my ear.

_"What did i tell you its his man period."_

"What did you say to him four eyes?"

"What do you mean?"

"I literally just saw you whisper something to him, do you think i am blind?"

"No not at all."

"What did you say to him?"

"Nothing, right Eren?" 

"Wh-what? Oh yeah nothing... it was nothing." I looked away knowing that if i looked at him now he would know i was lying. Everyone always told me i was bad at lying because my ears would go red.

"Like hell it was nothing!" But it seemed he already knew it was obviously nothing after all he did watch as Hanji whispered to me so of course he knew something was up. 

"Okay calm down Levi, i only told him it was your man period."

"Oh my god its not that. I had a bad day at work okay."

"Okay then Mr. grumpy pants why did you have a bad day at work?"

"Just a new case and no answers and it is frustrating me okay." Hanji seemed to understand what he meant as soon as she said that so she just nodded her head and smiled slightly.

"I am sure you will get through it though right, you always do. Can i ask what it is about?"

"No i can't tell you, top secret. Aka my lips are sealed."

"Awh come on pleaseee Levi? i am you best friend you can tell me."

"Maybe another time but right now i can't." As he said this i found myself to be curious as to what it was that had Levi so wound up, not that i would voice my curiosity so instead i continued to stay observing and hope maybe Hanji would let me know if she found out.

"Fine but promise you will tell me when you can?"

"We'll see but isn't it getting a bit late for the brat over there?" He tilted his head in my direction and something of recognition flickered across Hanji's face before she nodded and got up from her seat.

"We all ready to go then?" Hanji asked looking at me.

"Yep i am all set, ill just text the others once we are in the car to let them know i am on my way back home."

"You ready as well Levi?"

"Obviously." he muttered to himself as he got up and walked towards the exit in front of Hanji and i. Even though Levi seemed like a but of a jerk i decided to excuse it this time because something about his work was upsetting him. Then again what did he even do for work? Oh well i am sure i would find out soon enough since Levi let me know we would be spending an increasing amount of time together in the future. 

What was bothering me though was the fact that i didn't know if this was a good thing or not. 


	6. Hold Tight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More singing anyone? Here is the first song  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsFb661EXsI  
> and here is the second!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTTjLxXFg0k  
> i suggest listening to them C:  
> Thanks for being patient with me~  
> M

I climbed into the back seat of the van who i presumed belonged to Levi since he was the one driving it when i was picked up earlier, there was also the fact that now i was having a good look at the inside i could see it was spotless. And i really meant that too, there was no rubbish anywhere, no paper, no plastic and certainly no old food wrappers. It was obvious that he kept good care of his car and if i remember correctly i remember Hanji saying something about having clean shoes in the car, not that i could do much about that now since this was my second ride of the day in the car and not once did i check to see if my shoes were in fact clean.  Hopefully they were because i was too scared to have a look in case he caught on and decided to yell at me or something, again though after looking at his car interior i wasn't sure if my idea of clean would be up to his standards. 

I did feel slightly safer with him not driving though because i could then sit behind him without him being able to see my feet, so if there was any way i could have tracked dirt in whether it be earlier or now he wouldn't be able to see. And that was extremely acceptable. 

Now we were in the car i quickly sent a brief text to Armin letting him know i was on my way home and would be able 15 minutes at the most since the bar wasn't that far away. Mikasa wasn't at home when i left but knowing Armin he would have let her know what was going on so she would freak out if she got home and i wasn't there or something. Though i had to admit it would be funny to see her face if i wasn't there when she got home, but at the same time the lecture i would get for not letting her know wouldn't be quite so nice so i kept hoping that Armin did tell her i had gone out. For a split second i thought about maybe messaging her now just in case but i figured she would be home by now and it would be too late to let her know in advance, unless she was going to be out at Annie's until later tonight, then again she could be staying over again. I didn't really know for sure so in the end i decided to message her in the end.

_To Mika, 8.56_

_Hey Mika dnt no if Arm told u but i went out & im on my way back home now so u no. U staying at Annies tonight or u at home?_

  
I hoped that was enough to get an idea of what she was doing before the car pulled up outside the house because i didn't really want to get back to her being mad at me. She was scary when she was mad. So now all i had to do was wait for a reply so i knew where she was and to see if Armin told her i had left the house. Personally i think she should be proud of me for it but i might have to wait until her panic subsides, that is if she does freak out. 

Without much else to do i glanced up towards the front of the car at Hanji and Levi; where Hanji was humming quietly to the radio and Levi sat there with a bored expression on his face. I had only just met the guy today but i swear he is either looking extremely bored, mad or annoyed all the time. Not that i cared about what his facial expressions where at all its just the guy is a bit weird. Its like he does show anything about what he is thinking at all. It came as a shock to me how easily he admitted to being gay though, not that i minded at all. Its just... there is no way i could ever dream of being that open with my sexuality since the only people who knew were Armin, Mikasa and most likely both Annie and Pixis because after all i am sure they do spend a reasonably amount of time near me. Well maybe not so much Annie but Mikasa has probably talked to her about it so reckon she knows, and i am okay with that because well she isn't exactly the straightest person out their either so i doubt it would be something that bothers her at all.

I was brought out of my chain of thoughts when i heard Hanji start singing along with a song that had come onto the radio the same time a low groan came from Levi and i couldn't stop the faint shiver from running up my spine at the sound. I quickly averted my attention from Levi to the song Hanji was singing along to, and believe it of not of course i knew it. Of course it was a good song. Of course one of my favorites. And of course i couldn't sing it, not here. But Hanji on the other hand was singing very loudly while she was driving but luckily she kept her eyes on the road. 

I lean my head up against the window and listened to the lyrics of the song with a sad smile on my face. I had heard this song so many times and yet each time it would make me slightly upset even though i am sure the meaning behind the song is supposed to be a happy one. It just reminded me so much about mum. The tune of the song itself is rather catchy so before long i am gently humming along staring at the my own reflection in the window, i look slowly over my features until my gaze lands on my eyes. Both a dark shade of green thanks to my contact. I wonder if mum would be upset that i am keeping my eye covered up now that she is gone. Even if she was i don't think i could find the courage in myself to take it out, especially at the moment when there may be people trying to find out my identity. I couldn't take that risk.

The last chorus of the song then started to play and i couldn't help singing it softly even though i had told myself i wouldn't, it was just a way to get my emotions out and right now that was what i needed.  

 

 _It's OK, cause I know you shine even on a rainy day._ I tried to smile as i sang but i couldn't help the slight quiver in my lips, from nerves for singing where people could here or sadness i didn't really know.

_And I can find your halo,guides me to wherever you fall_

_If you need a hand to hold, I'll come running, because you and I won't part till we die_

_You should know we see eye to eye, heart to heart_

 

_Oh sometimes,_

_Oh sometimes,_

_Oh sometimes,_

_Oh._

 

_Wherever you fall_

_If you need a hand to hold, I'll come running, because  
_

_You and I won't part till we die  
_

_You should know  
_

_We see eye to eye, heart to heart._  
  
As i sang the last sentence of the song still gazing out the window i noticed Hanji was no longer singing along and instead the only voice was mine and that of the song so at some point she had stopped and i had continued singing by myself which meant that, i had most likely been heard. My suspicions were confirmed after i slowly looked back to where Hanji and Levi were seated. Levi was looking straight at me with a slight look of surprise on his face where as Hanji had tightened her grip on the steering wheel but was again still keeping her eyes on the road. Thankgod. 

"Uhh." I didn't quite know what to say because they were both still sitting there in silence and it was making me feel a bit uncomfortable.

"You are a really good singer Eren, though you were a bit quiet so i couldn't hear real well but it was nice."

"Thanks but..." I needed to change the subject, i couldn't talk about my singing with these to. What if they found out who i was, what if they told people. " I don't think i am that good." Thankfully Levi turned back around in his seat because i don't think i could have handled his staring any longer in this situation.

"Don't be silly Eren you have a really nice voice."

"Thanks i guess." I looked back out the window hoping she would take my silence as a plea to change the conversation. Forgetting about the fact that she couldn't see me, she had no way to know i had turned away so the dreaded conversation continued much to my displeasure. 

"Do you take classes or something? In singing i mean?"

For a split second i thought about whether i should tell her the truth and say that, yes i do in fact get lessons but i decided against it and just shook my head to myself. "Nope, never really thought about it you know."

"You should your voice has a really nice ring to it."

"Nar it isn't really my thing but thanks for the suggestion though."

"Don't worry about it. On another note what are your hobbies?"

"My hobbies? Uh why?" I saw Levi glance into the review mirror and look directly into my eyes before he very slightly shook his head with a very stern look on his face.

"Welllll isn't it a friends job to know about their friends so if they need to they can help look after it if they need it, or to know what to do to entertain them. Oh and food, what foods do you like? Is there anything that you can't eat? Do you ne..."

"Hanji." Levi's voice cut through her babbling causing her to go silent as she most likely hadn't noticed she was rambling on. "Slow the fuck down and for gods sake breath when you are speaking."

"Awh Levi you do care about my health, you big softie."

"Actually no. I care for my own. If you were to suddenly stop breathing you would loose control of the car and most likely cause a crash and i have two major problems with that. The first being this is my car, the second being i do not want to ruin these boots because they are new. Also there is a third because if you crashed just think of the mess it would cause, and i am sure that it wouldn't be cleaned up properly and that is fucking disgusting."

"Well doesn't someone have a lot to say tonight."

"No, i would just like to get back home in one piece."

"Fine fine, i suppose i can do that for you Mr Grumpy pants"

"Hanji. shut. up." She chuckled to herself in her seat as Levi most likely glared at her until she stopped and that was how the rest of the car ride went. It was peaceful, well almost. You could feel a few negative vibes floating around in the air but it gave me time to think a little.

Firstly i needed to try and be more cautious if i was to be spending more time outside of the house, i was okay at home because i trusted those around me but here, not so much. It wasn't so much that i didn't trust them, but more of i didn't trust what they could say, especially if i did something to piss them off. And judging by Levi's grumpiness it wouldn't take very much to push him the wrong way, however Hanji seemed to be much more understanding so really right now all i needed to be careful around was Levi. Secondly it was about time to release another video, or at least have it planned out and rehearsed so it would be ready to go online. And then lastly there was that stupid article on us. More specifically on me. I was the lead so i guess that is why i was the main interest whereas Mikasa and Armin were backups in only about half of the clips. This next video is just going to be me and i can't help but feel really nervous about it because now it seems like there are going to be a ton more people watching which also means that lots more people will be wanting to find out who i am. Which is even more of a worry because there is no way i can let that happen.

Hopefully Armin has thought up something to try and up the safety of our accounts even more- just in case, though we already have really tight walls thanks to him.

I lost my train of thought as my phone vibrated in my pocket displaying Mikasa's name and a short message

 

From Mika 9.09pm

Yeah he told me about it, I'm at Annie's. Filming tomorrow afternoon sound okay? x

 

I smiled, glad she didn't seem at all annoyed that i left without letting her know which was great but i'm still sure she will have a lot to say about it when she gets home tomorrow. I sent her back a quick reply knowing how she would get inpatient if i left her waiting for to long, classic Mikasa.

 

To Mika 9.1pm

sounds grt. Cya then. x

 

Putting my phone away i noticed we had pulled into my street which meant we had to drive up a little more then turn in, and there we were at the end of the road. The street where i lived wasn't overly fancy but i liked to believe it looked nice, all the houses looked relatively tidy and well kept- at the front anyways. Our home was nothing different a small front garden and a simple looking building, though it was on the smaller side but at least that way it stayed cozy and gave a more home-like feeling. 

We pulled up in front of my building and Hanji turned back in her seat to look at me. 

"Well Eren, i suppose i should say thanks for coming out on... such a short notice."

A brief chuckle left my mouth as Hanji broke into a devilish grin. "Yeah it was bit of a surprise. I just can't believe you were sitting outside the whole time."

"You betcha we were!"

"Maybe next time you should let me know a bit earlier so i don't have to run around like, well a headless chicken to make sure i look alright to set foot outside."

Levi choose that exact moment to turn back and stare straight into my eyes. "It was quite a show brat. Maybe next time-" I felt him drawing out the 'maybe' in a way to poke fun at me "you should make sure your curtains are closed."

My curtains.. "WAIT YOU GUYS WERE WATCHING ME?"

"That's what i just said isn't it brat?"

"oh my god..."

"Don't worry Eren we didn't really Levi is just pulling your leg. Right Levi?" He just shrugged and turned back away as i noticed Armin peep out at us through the window before ducking down as quickly as he could once i had made eye contact. Weird.

"Well... okay then. But i better get back inside because i think Armin looks like he is waiting for me." 

"Of course, i'll... we'll see you again soon then Eren." I slid out of the car and yelled a brief goodbye and walked up towards the front door turning to give one last wave before i opened it and disappeared inside. 

 

 

"Are you ready _this_ time Eren?" I held my thumb up towards the camera in front of me signaling to Armin that i was all set to go i saw him nod his head and bring his hand up. Slowly he counted down by give silently with hand actions and as it reached 0 the sound of music begun to play over the speaker jut loud enough that my voice would still be heard clearly over the top. 

Unlike our last clip it was just me this time sitting in the middle of the stage in Pixis's studio on a stool facing straight at the camera. I was glad that i was wearing a mask right now and for once i was glad for my heterochromia because it kept my identity safe. If people were looking for the mysterious singer with the golden eye they definitely weren't going to see him in a boy like me with forest green eyes.  At one point i had wished the masks covered our mouths to, but then Armin quite obviously pointed out that i wouldn't be able to sing if it was over my mouth. But now i thought it was perfect, it fitted me perfectly and it made me feel at home. That's how i felt now sitting on the stage taking the final breath before i began to sing, at home. Singing was my home, and the song was my story. 

 

 I started the song by humming gently until the part where i needed to sing begun. 

 _ I will not make the same mistakes that you did _  
_I will not let myself ca_ _use my heart so much misery_  
_I will not break the way you did,_ _You fell so hard_  
_I've learned the hard way, t_ _o never let it get that far_

I started off slowly, keeping my head down the whole time but still allowing my voice to sound out across the room to where the cameras were. I kept my voice low making sure it sounded sweet but sorrowful at the same time. As the first chorus came around i picked up the tempo of my voice slightly and gripped onto the edge pf the bench i was sitting on. The more emotion i put into it the stronger the reactions we might be ale to get out of the viewers, that's what Armin said anyway.

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me  
Because of you I am afraid! 

Starting the next verse i picked my head up and look towards the left of the stage feeling my hair fall down over my mask. I kept my focus on a pile of equipment and kept singing facing that way as if i was trying to communicate with someone in that direction. 

 _ I lose my way and it's not too long before you point it out _  
I cannot cry because I know that's weakness in your eyes  
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh everyday of my life  
My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with

 _Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk_  
_Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt_  
_Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me_  
_Because of you I am afraid_

As i begun the next line a sudden wave of sadness came over me and i felt my eyes start to water. I turned towards the camera completely as i tightened the grip on the bench. I thought of my mum and how tragic it was when i lost her, how upset i had been and how much loss there was in my life. I thought of my Dad and how when i needed him most he disappeared. I thought about the time i spent by myself in my room and i couldn't help the single tear slip down my cheek. As soon as the tear fell i could see the worried looks i was getting from my two friends and how they were motioning towards me trying to get me to stop. I took in a deep breath and continued despite the anxious glances focused my way.

 _ I watched you die _  
_I heard you cry every night in your sleep_  
_I was so young you should have known better than to lean on me_  
_You never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain_  
_And now I cry in the middle of the night_  
_For. The. Same. Damn. Thing._

I stood and walked towards the camera and stopped where it would capture me from torso up, because of how many times we filmed i knew exactly where to stand.

_Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk_  
_Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt_  
_Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything_  
_Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in_  
_Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty_  
_Because of you I am afraid_

I shook my head at the camera and slowly turned around but keeping my eyes focuses straight at the camera.

_Because of you_

_Because of you_

I completely turned away from the camera now as the final piece of music played and sat back down in my stool staring at my feet until i heard Armin calling out to me, notifying me he had switched the camera off. Instead of moving i continued staring down at my feet as i quietly began to sob. Both Mikasa and Armin were fast to run to my side where they wrapped their arms around me holding me in a tight embrace, though it was not the embrace i wanted. Not the one i needed.

Mom. 

If only she were still here to hold and comfort me. 

If i had only been able to help her.

If only i had been stronger then maybe i could have saved her and i wouldn't be alone.

Then maybe Dad would not have left me behind.

Maybe then it would be okay.

My crying began to echo throughout the room as a deep sadness consumed me. I could no longer feel the arms holding onto me, i could no longer hear them calling out to me telling me it would be alright, all i could hear were screams. 

 

 

I turned onto my side snuggling down into the warmth of the bed, the sheets had just the right amount of softness to make you want to stay forever. Sadly for me that wasn't going to happen because of the cluttering i could hear down the hall. With a sigh i tried to block out the intrusive noises instead focusing on filming. 

Filming... shit. That's right i had cried. Then if that happened how was i at home in my bedroom right now?

Pulling my limbs out of the sheets i reached my arms above my head stretching out my shoulders and back before i reached down to pick up my phone from the bedside table. 6.42 shone back at me and i couldn't help the groan pass through my lips at the thought that i had slept through half of the day when there could have been something i could doing, even if it was computer games. To be honest i was also quite surprised that Mikasa hadn't tried to wake me up, she must have really been worried when i cried during filming to let me stay in here this long. So after deciding i should go back the the world of the living i left my room and followed the loud noises that turned out to be both Armin and Mikasa cursing at the television.

Not one of them notice my entrance even when i walked right up behind them. Only did they notice me once i had lent over the couch creating a divide between them causing them to both flinch away and a startled squeal to leave Armin's lips. 

 "Good evening children." 

 "Eren, gosh don't do that to me. My poor heart could have stopped for gods sake." Armin looked up at me with a fake pout plastered across his lips like a child as Mikasa seemed relatively unaffected by my sudden appearance.

"Sorry Arm i couldn't resist it you know? Anyway i could hear you two from down the hall, you guys aren't fighting or anything are you?" 

Armin quickly began to shake his head causing some of his hair to fall across his face as he spoke. "No, no Eren its... its just... never mind."

"What Armin means to say is that we kind of have a problem." I opened my mouth about to ask what she meant when she raised a hand motioning for me to stop. "We have a problem and i'm not quite sure if you are going to be very happy about it." I looked back at Armin who in turn just shook his head before i turned my attention back to Mikasa presuming she would be the one to let me know what was going on because to be honest i was starting to get a bit worried. 

"Right. So what is this problem then?" The way Mikasa hesitated with her words rang alarm bells through my ears before she had even begun speaking. 

"Someone... Someone tried to hack into the account while you were asleep." Mikasa pulled her scarf up around her mouth, a habit she developed when we were younger to help hide or something if she was scared.

"Are you guys serious right now... I thought we had really tight security on our account, right Arm?"

"No we do it's just whoever tired to get in really knew what they were doing."

"Did they, you know get in then?" I could feel arms shaking slightly, shaking because what if they were able to get into our account. Then they would be able to access all of our information, they could even possibly track where we were uploading from. What if we were found out? All these thoughts kept running through my head on a continuous cycle until Armin kept speaking.

"No they didn't, i was on the computer editing the shot when it happened so i got an alert pop up notifying me."

"A notification... what do you mean?" I could help but let a quiver into my voice and they both seemed to pick up on it as Mikasa moved from the couch to cling onto my side, whereas Armin tried to give me a reassuring smile but i could see the worry behind his eyes as well.

"Well when we set up the account i added in some things here and there to improve our security including numerous sites that should notify me if anyone was trying to access our account from another location, though out of all those software i used to send out a notification only 2 of 5 reported someone trying to get in." 

"And that's... like what? What does it mean?"

"Well either the hacker whoever they are have been able to deactivate them or find a backdoor somewhere or the software is actually just shit. I'm hoping its the latter of the two."

"Dear god..." I ran a hand through my hair pushing it out of my face while letting out a shaky breath as Mikasa tightened her hold around me as if sensing i needed some reassurment or comfort right at this moment, it was moments like these i was glad i had her. "Is there any way to find out."

"Hopefully yes, i have been trying to figure it out for a while now but its frustrating me a little, so before it was probably me you heard that woke you up. Sorry."

"Its fine Arm, i understand."

"Thanks Eren, i'll try to figure this up so try not to worry about it too much okay?"

"No promises there blondie, but relating to the video. What exactly are we going to do about it?"

"Well i have two major concerns, well not really major but well yeah i have some concerns." I raised my eyebrows as if to urge him to continue and he got the point after a second of silence before Mikasa told him to explain before i exploded or something. "Right, well one being when we put the clip out because we were planning to do it at some point tonight but i don't think that is a good idea right now. A because we still don't know how secure our account is right now and B because you were asleep and well you need to check over everything before i can finalize."

"Alright" i said with a nod on my head. "What about the other concern?"

"Well i just wanted to make sure you were okay with us using the recording we have because, well you were emotional and i just wanted to make sure you were okay with us using it. If not i'm sure we could re-film but if you are okay with it that's cool to." 

"Oh yeah good point, sorry about that guys i guess some of those lyrics really hit home for me."

This time it was Mikasa who spoke "Do you want to talk about it? You know we are both here for you, and we will help you out in anyway you are comfortable with." 

"No it's alright it really was just a spur of the moment cry" I lied. "It is kind of a depressing song so it might work out. Let me have a look over it just in case but i think it will be fine to use. There's not much point in re-filming if this one is good." I smiled at the both of them trying to look as genuine as possible when deep down i felt awful. There was a twisting feeling in my gut and i could feel the slight affects of a headache coming on as well as memories of Mum and Dad were fresh in my mind after thinking about them.

"Are you sure Eren?" I nodded my head at Armin and gave Mikasa a gentle but friendly squeeze before i stepped away from her and moved into the kitchen to avoid the worried looks i was getting from both of them. I know they mean well but i couldn't help the feelings i was having at the moment. To try and get my thoughts away i opened up the cupboards hoping to find something to eat that wouldn't require any effort on my part. And of course to make the day worse it was practically empty. 

With a sigh i walked back out again without a nutritious snack or meal of any kind and plopped down on the couch were both Mikasa and Armin had resorted to watching some kind of documentary about animals in the African desert. Why they watched a documentary of all things i don't know but before long i felt myself getting sucked in and before long about 40 minutes had passed by and the end credits began to play.

I looked over to find Mikasa had disappeared leaving just Armin and i, to be honest i never even noticed she got up and left. 

"Hey Eren?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you want to order a pizza or something, i don't think any of us can be bothered to cook anything?"

"GOD YES, A MILLION TIMES YES!" He giggled and rolled his eyes as if he knew it was a stupid question.

"So the regular i'm guessing? One meet lovers with double cheese crust?"

"You know it Blondie! But by the way even if you had planned to cook today there is like no food so we probably need to go out and buy some soon." A shocked look came across his face for a split second before a smirk took its place.

"Are you Eren proposing you will go out to get groceries with me?"

"Huh?"

"You said 'we' as in 'we need to get food'. so you plan on coming this time right?" Looking at his cheesy smirk i could tell he was happy so i couldn't not say yes to him.

"Ugh i guess i can, but we need to get more pop-tarts or else i am staying behind."

"You know Mikasa can't stand those Eren."

"But Arm she doesn't have to know, it can be our little secret. Eh? What do you say hmmm?" I elbowed him playfully in the side wiggling my eyebrows at the same time.

"Fine fine okay, but if she finds out it's on you okay?"

"Yeaaap sounds good." 

"Alright well i'll go let Mikasa know what's going on dinner-wise because she is hidden away in her room on the phone to Annie."

"I reckon, are those two together yet or what? Like seriously where is cupid when you need him."

"Don't rush them i'm sure they will get there, anyway i'll be back in a minute. Don't double over in boredom whilst i'm gone okay?"

"No promises there Blondie." I watched Armin walk out of the room with a smile on my face but as soon as i was alone i felt the sadness creep back on me and soon i felt myself frowning. Armin said he would try to fix the problem with our hacker but what if he wasn't able to in the end. I only had one suspicion on who it could be.

And i was sure i was right.

But if it was them, did we really have the skills and technology to keep them locked out?


	7. Is the heart really the home?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conflicted feelings leave Eren unsure of where his heart is. Where his home is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not exactly the happiest of chapters guys :C  
> There is a ton of negative thinking in this chapter so keep that in mind when reading.  
> Love you guys even if i haven't updated this fic in the 6 months i haven't forgotten about you  
> You should add me on snapchat to make sure i remember to keep at this! sheepluvah  
> Also thanks for the comments guys and i see you there SilverFox323 thanks for coming back and reading time and again even though i am an unreliable trash lord <3

It took an extra half an hour for the pizza's to arrive than the time we were told they would, which was awful for me because my stomach would not stop rumbling. It was getting to the point that now and then i would get stabbing pains because of just how hungry i was. When the doorbell rang i nearly jumped off the couch and ran to open the door myself but then i hesitated at the realization that i wouldn't know the person on the other side of the door. Luckily Armin was on his way to open the door so i didn't have to worry about unnecessary conversations.

In the 45 minutes we waiting for the food i thought hard about the maskedvoices, and what we should do. To be honest for me personally there wasn't anything i could do at all, so i just had to trust in Armin and hope he could keep our security tight. Overall that meant that just because i was scared of being revealed i had to continue making music, because if i didn't i knew my greatest escape in the world would fade into nothing. 

My train of thought was interrupting when a box was thrust under my nose and the delicious smell of food wafted into my face. 

"I swear to god Eren pay more attention will you."

"Hmm?" Taking the box i looked up at Armin who stood with one of his hands on his hip and his eyebrow raised as if he was waiting for me to question or disagree with what he was saying.  _Speaking of which, what was he saying?_

"You blanked out again Eren."

"Really, sorry" I offered up one of my goofiest grins and he just shook his head and and sat down next to me with his own box of pizza that i hadn't noticed him holding before. I looked up at him cocking my head to the side slightly. "No Mikasa?" 

"No you know her at the moment with the healthy eating stuff, i think she was planning to come and make a stir fry or something." I nodded and opened my pizza box and the aroma grew stronger, with a grin i picked up my first piece and stuffed it into my mouth. I couldn't understand why she suddenly decided to change her diet, but hey i wasn't complaining because it meant there were more things in he cupboards for me to eat. Well most of the time anyway.

Whilst i completely stuffed my face, Armin looked up at me with pulling his lips into a tight line before it changed into a proud smirk.

"Okay. What is it?"

"Nothing nothinggg"

"Armin."

"Eren."

"Why are you giving me that look?"

"Hm?" At that he chuckled lightly raising one of his eyebrows. "I don't know what you are talking about."  _Oh this smug little..._

"Yeah you do, don't mess with me Mister."

 "I would never dream of it Eren."

"Like hell you wouldn't." I shook my head slightly looking at him from under my hair as he pulled his lips together in a tight lipped smile. "No but seriously what is it, do i have food on my face or something?" i asked as i dragged my hand across my lips only to pull it back and see no food.

"Not this time anyways."

"Harsh Arm."

"I'm only speaking the truth we both know you have always been a messy eater. Like literally always."

"Well you certainly aren't wrong there but more importantly Blondie stop trying to change to subject. Why are you giving me, you know ... the look?"

"I'm just messing with you Eren, don't worry about it so much."

"If you say so..." I murmurer taking another bite from my pizza completely missing what Armin muttered under his breath as well as the proud smirk on his face. 

"...Maybe."

 

 

It wasn't until lunch time the next day until my heart started racing as i stared out the front door at the car, where a concerned Armin stood waiting patiently. The sudden panic i had as i opened the door had caught me by surprise as a rippling feeling of dread overtook me as i found myself rooted to the spot. Over the past few days i felt as if my anxiety levels were improving. I went out, twice at that, talked to new people, made friends and surprisingly i managed to talk over the phone to Hanji without freaking out one bit. But now all i could think about was 'what if i bumped into someone', 'What if they stare at me', 'What if i get in someones way and they yell at me, 'what if i...

"Eren? Hey?" I felt hands cautiously make their way onto my shoulders causing a slight whimper to fall from my lips at the contact. The pressure on my shoulders disappeared immediately and instead i saw Armin kneel down in front of me, still close but enough that the distance wasn't bothering me.

"Eren, it's okay it's just me." I felt my body swaying slightly as i sucked in a breath and nodded slightly. 

"Please don't feel you have to push yourself if you are uncomfortable. It is perfectly fine if you stay at home you know."

"But, is that, is that really okay?" 

"Of course it is Eren, you shouldn't ever and i mean ever feel like me or anyone else is forcing you to do something you aren't 110% comfortable with. Okay?"

"But i, i said..." I looked up out from between the hair falling across my face to see a supportive smile across Armin's face.

"It doesn't matter what you said Eren, you feel uncomfortable so you don't have to fall through with this.

"But that means, that means i lied to you."

"Eren, believe me when i tell you i am not in anyway disappointed in you right now."  _But how can he not be, i'm backing out. I'm running away again._ "Eren."

I tilted my face up enough to look directly into his eyes and i could just feel as though he understood completely. "Eren i am just proud that you suggested coming with me today, regardless of if you come or if you decide to stay here. You have had a big few days recently and you have done so many things that are a challenge to you. And i am so proud of you, i really am. So please don't feel as though you've lied or hurt me in anyway because you haven't one bit, in fact the growth and spirit you have shown me these past few days has made me happier than i have been in a long time." And with his words the negative thoughts i had been thinking of just seconds before vanished and left me looking at Armin in awe.

"Armin... Thank you."

"Don't threat about it, you know ill always be here for you right?"

I nodded my head with a new found certainty and i saw that spark of happiness flash across his eyes. "Yeah, i don't think you'll let me forget it for a moment." 

"Damn right i won't. Now do you want to stay here while i go grab some food then? I won't be too long" 

"Yeah i guess its probably a good idea huh?"

"Its up to you but if you'd like my input" I nodded my head enough for him to know i did "Then i'd say yes maybe it would be good for you to stay home and just rest up. You know de-stress a little."

"Yeah." I smiled at him, a genuine smile to show i was grateful and judging by the earnest look on his face. "Yeah thanks Armin, i really needed this. I needed to hear that."

"I'm glad i can bring a smile back to your face then Eren, but i have a very serious question to ask you."

"A serious question?"

"A serious question." I knew the moment i saw that devious look in his eye that he was up to something.

"Okay shoot, whats the oh so serious question you wish to address me with young man, hmm?"

"You see Eren, for i do not know what flavor pop-tarts you wish for me to collect."

"... Armin stop speaking like that." I couldn't keep the amusement out of my voice even if i tried. "and you know which flavor i'd want."

"Oh? And what might that be?"

"Chocolate you little blond coconut. Everything must be chocolate." Armin smirked at me again before finally standing up from where he was crouched on the ground in front of me.

"So are you definitely okay before i go then?"

"Yep." I made sure to pop the P as i spoke hinting to him that i saw okay.

"Maybe you could finally clean your room up or something while i'm gone." The images of my room currently flashing into my head.  _Clothes everywhere, draws and cupboards thrown open, old remains of what was once food. Gross maybe he was right. I'd let my living space go for far too long that even a rat might choose to leave._

"That is probably i really good idea, plus i bet it would give Mika a heart attack the next time she comes in." _  
_

"Yeah it most definitely would, i don't even remember the last time i could see the floor in there. Maybe a clean environment is another step in helping you recover." I hummed in approval as i imagined the look Mikasa would give me as she would step foot into my room, i could image the surprise and delight both at once and i realized if i was capable of causing that emotion to cross her face, it was definitely something i wanted to achieve.

With all the determination i could muster i forced myself to stare into his blue eyes as i made a promise to myself.  _I will do this, watch me mum, i'll free myself from this cage i've been put in._ "Armin go, i'll be fine just don't you dare come back here with out my pop-tarts okay."

"Yeah i won't forget" Armin turned and began walking towards the car giving a brief wave over his shoulder before he unlocked the car and turned on the ignition. With that i also began to walk back to the front steps of the house and just before i slipped inside Armin undid his widow and leaned out slightly. "I'm only a call away remember Eren."

I shook my head in amusement. "Go on Blondie, i'll see you when you get back." And it was with that statement he backed out of the driveway  and disappeared around the corner whilst i waited on the front step until he was to longer in my visual range. "What i good friend" i muttered to myself as i opened the front door and crept back inside and headed towards the kitchen to find some old bin bags.

_They should be in the third draw down. Yep, good. Now cleaning spray and i sponge of_ _some sort._ After collecting a few crucial elements to help me clean my pig-sty of a room i made my way upstairs and realized this might take a lot longer than i thought. I had definitely underestimated just how much grime and filth their was nested in every nook and cranny of my room. "I'm going to need more bin bags for sure." 

After a brief moment of hesitation i decided the best course of action would be to start by sorting out the clothes on the floor. Washing those that needed washing, hanging up what needed to be hung and sadly giving back any clothes that belonged to Mikasa. Apart from maybe that one pair of jeans. I liked those jeans, they were mine now. As well as that there were probably many old clothes that i didn't wear anymore, and even a ton that i am sure no longer fitted me. That's how long ago the last time i had a proper clean out in my room was. With that thought in mind i picked up the first shirt at my feet, this was a keeper for sure, with little hesitation i brought it to my nose and inhaled. 

It was a mistake.

And so was inhaling the stench from the next 4 shirts i picked up.

In the end i scooped up every shirt and jumper i could fit in my arms and without hesitating, and without smelling them i carried them straight to the wash room. I did this several times before i was almost certain i had a large portions of the shirts by the washing machine. The first lot of dark colours had gone in straight away since i was likely to wear them most. So in about 40 minutes i could change the load over and move my dark clothes into the drier and from there i would repeat the process until it was completed. I knew it would take hours.

I looked around the room and i could just notice the difference beginning to show but for 20 minutes it wasn't that much of a considerable difference. So knowing i would be here for a few hours at least i moved towards my speakers and plugged in my phone and allowed my phone to go through songs randomly as i cleaned. 

I sang, danced and hummed as i moved around the room. If anyone was me they would think i was like a modern version of Cinderella. But even so this was how my routine continued on until i had removed all the clothes from my floor. I had two bags full of clothes i knew i would no longer wear and half a bag that belonged to Mikasa. And somewhere along the way i found a few stray items that belonged to Armin that i had forget about completely so i am sure he will be glad to be reunited with them again. Even if he to had forgotten they existed.  

I had moved a bunch of dirty dishes and cups into the kitchen, that i would come back to and clean at some point. I just hadn't quite gotten there yet in a midst of filling another bag with rubbish and other crap that i didn't need littering my room. Believe it or not after what was now nearly three hours of working you could see the floor and a large proportion of my shelf's. 

I stood with my hands on my hips, quite impressed with myself when 'Never forget you' began to play through the speakers and i couldn't help but sway my body with the movement of the song as the words rolled of my tongue like a second language to me. Getting completely lost in the world of music i didn't notice Armin come and stand in my bedroom door with a huge grin on his face until he began to sing with me as MNEK's part begun and i couldn't help but giggle and pull him into the room as i incorporated him into my dance. And of course he didn't hesitate in the slightest to join in and have fun with me, that was one of the reasons i loved him so deeply. He willingly involved himself in every part of my life he could and even if i didn't show it often it meant the world to me.

As Zara's part began i took over singer from him and pointed at him with one hand i rocked my hips side to side in a teasing manner bringing my second hand slowly down my chest, and that was all it took to have him laughing hysterically whilst i finished singing the song by myself dancing circles around him being over sensual on purpose to pull those giggles from his lips. All to see that smile, because if i could make him smile i was sure i too could smile freely and openly myself one day soon also. I desperately hoped for that with every inch of my being.  

"Eren."

"Yeah?"

"You really are strange."

"Oh you don't say Blondie."

"It looks really good in here by the way." I looked around the room soaking in his words of encouragement and giving myself a pat on the back. I was doing well. He was pleased and hopefully so would Mikasa when she managed to come in next whether that be today or a few days time couldn't wait to see her reaction. 

"Thanks, there is still a ton more to do though." I could hear Armin's hum of approval next to but i kept my gaze against the window. The opened window. "I haven't even started on scrubbing down the cabinets and there are still mounds of dust along the windowsill and the floor, don't even get me started on how much the carpet needs washing."

"Do you want help Eren."  _Do i... want help. At first my immediate reaction was to say no but somehow i was able to persevere._

"I'd like that quite a lot actually but..."

"But?"  _But i don't want to keep you here when you have other stuff to do that is probably more important. Forget probably, it is more important. More important that..._ "Eren"

"Y yes?"

I want to help you, in anyway you will let me whether its cleaning your room or being your shoulder to cry on."

"You don't mind?"

"Not one bit." 

"Promise."

"Absolutely."

"Alright but, but if you get bored please don't force yourself to stay if you don't want to you can leave. I'm sure you have other things you"

"Eren."

"Sorry..." 

"Eren, what have you eaten today?"

"Huh, what does that have to do with anything?"

"It has everything to do with this, what have you eaten." There was determination in his eyes now and honestly it was almost scary, if it hadn't been for the fact i had been on the receiving end of this look quite frequently recently. 

"I have eaten plenty." I looked towards my feet in an awful attempt to hide myself from his eyes.

"Mikasa was right."  _Huh?_  "The tips of your ears"  _What about my ears, is there something on them? God please don't stare at me._ "They go red when your lying."  _They go red when i'm ..._

"Hey! They do not!"

"They totally do" Armin said behind his hand a bashful smirk across his face.

"Anyway what the hell does this have ti do with anything in the first place."  _I couldn't help it now i was feeling aggravated. I just didn't understand._

"You always get worse when you are hungry." I opened my mouth to interrupt but instead i was meet with his hand. "I know you don't want to think it's true but i think it is possible, i was reading something earlier about some people either getting mad or depressed when they were hungry because of their lack in glucose levels. Though it isn't really a reliable source of information but it could be a possibility."

"So your saying i'm having these... mood swings today because i am just hungry?"

"like i said it is just one simple explanation, there isn't one specific reason why you are feeling like this way. Moods are altered by many individual factors and these impact on..."

"Armin, I'm sorry i'm getting a little lost. I'm not the brightest you know."

"Eren, you know that isn't true. You are bright just towards other aspects than other people."

"Other aspects?"

"Yes other aspects. Musical theater and all the jazz" Armin gave a wiggle of his jazz hands to emphasis his words and i couldn't force the smirk off my face even if i wanted to. "Just because academics isn't your strong point doesn't mean you don't have a strong point at all Eren."

"Yeah i know, its just that sometimes i feel like."  _I'm going to be abandoned._ "I am getting a little lost you know." I brush the hair from my face trying to seem at ease with myself and somehow Armin didn't pick up on my negativity at all, and if he did he didn't say anything about it. 

"I'm sorry you feel like that Eren, but i need you to know and Mikasa to but she isn't here. But i need you to know we treasure you more than anything, you are our family and that is never going to change."  _Family. That's nice._ "Understand?"

"Yeah i understand."

"Now, want to take a break and have some of those pop-tarts before Mikasa come home and seizes them?"

"Sounds like a plan" I stand and follow Armin out of my bedroom turning once to stare out of the window, feeling in my heart i somehow didn't belong in this room. And i didn't know why.

 

The kitchen seemed more open then usual but still i felt as though it was crushing me. Instead of focusing entirely on this i sucked in a breathe to calm myself.

The pop-tart on my plate was half eaten as i took a glance at Armin who was filtering one of his new favorite teas he had brought from the markets. 

"Hey Armin?"

"Yeah?"

"Can i try a bit. Of the tea i mean... Can try some?"

"Of course you can, but i don't know if you'll like it"

"Why not?"

"Well for starters it isn't chocolate, and well the only teas i have brought that you have enjoyed have been fruit based." I nodded slightly as i remembered the berry tea he had bought home not too long ago, believe me when i saw it was amazing.

"What is this one then?"

"It has lots of herbs and spices in it to give it a kick, but it is based around peppermint."

"Peppermint?"

"Yep, its got elder-flower and some ginger in it to i think."  _Ginger, i don't really like ginger much after that ginger bread house that one year..._

"Sounds... interesting."

"You don't seem to keen to try."

"No i will, but..."

"You don't know if you'll like it?"  _More like i know i won't._

"Exactly."

"It is meant to be good for the flu as well so that's a bonus." 

I shook my head and waited for him to finish brewing it before he set it in front of my in a pale blue mug. Hesitantly i brought it up to my mouth, seeing him watch over the rim of his own. I took a small sip.

Ginger great, all i could taste as the ginger. 

"Don't like it after all then?"

"Its just the ginger."

"Hmm, i can make it again sometime and extract some of the ginger if you'd like i can't promise the flavor would be gone completely but i'm sure i could get most of it softer for you?"

"Thanks Arm." I forced a fake smile across my face to mask my feelings from him. All i could do these days was wear that mask, even if i took it off after singing another permanent one seemed to remain plastered to my face.   _It wouldn't help Blondie, maybe not this time._

"That's all good Eren, that's what friends are for." _Friends. Why can't my emotions stay still enough to believe that anymore._

"You know it Blondie."

"I've got to go pick up Mika in a minute will you be okay on your own for a little while?"  _No._

"Yeah for sure, i'll see you when you guys get back then?"

"Yeah. We are just going to nip in and see Erwin quickly on the way back, it shouldn't take too long."

I nodded my head that forced smile still plastered across my face. "See you soon then." I walked the rest of the way up the stairs and quickly mad my way into my bedroom closing the door behind me. Resting against the wooden surface until i heard the front door close and the engine of the car turn on. I wait until i could no longer see the car out out of the window before i moved from the door. Towards the bright light.

 

 

Standing in my room alone after some food and another good hour of cleaning with Armin by my side i couldn't help but feel more alone than i had in a very long time. Something was missing and i couldn't quite put my finger on in no matter how hard i tried. I had tried dancing, singing, watching youtube videos, hell i even tried to read a book. I know right, Eren can read what a surprise. But yet nothing was working and the emptiness was causing my chest to ache and it hurt, god it hurt. But i couldn't tell the others. They would just worry and i didn't need to put that stress on them. Armin had to finish his course and Mikasa was busy with a job and both of them had a life outside of me, outside of the home that i wasn't a part of. 

I just needed to find my home.

How could i even begin to find a home if i no longer had one in the first place. 

Curling in on myself i sat on the floor in the corner of my room, the curtains closed again. They had lasted a good few hours open and that was all the light i needed. I din't need it anymore because i was fine here. Here in this room. By myself, like i would always be.

I was falling apart, the walls i had built up around myself were crumbling and i was trying desperately to rebuild them before a rush of wind took them away from me completely. People were looking for me. For him. The boy behind the mask, the one with the golden eyes that shone like an angels, but that boy he wasn't me. I was just, i was just Eren. Plain, empty and broken.

I looked across the room in the mirror and stared at my reflection really hard as twin forest eyes stared back at me. I couldn't help but feel the sadness that i had disappointed her as well. Even in her death i was a disappointment and i had no doubts about that. I had been deserted.

Armin had gone out to pick up Mikasa and was planning to drop in and see someone called Erwin on the way. Who even was he anyways, i hadn't heard about him before. Not that it really mattered anyways this was fine. I am fine. 

And with that thought i fell asleep on the floor of my room unshed tears in my eyes.

Too far gone to notice my phone going off besides me to say that Armin and Mikasa were staying at Erwin's, and definitely to far gone to hear the front door opening or the sound of footsteps coming upstairs. 

To far gone to stop the bedroom door from being pushed open. 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it has been months... Sorry  
> Thanks to you guys who where on my back about continuing this! This ones for you C:

_Levi_

 

Believe me when I say iv'e had the longest day in a very long time.

It started with that stupid Shitty glasses knocking on my door at the crack of dawn and refusing to leave until I let her inside.

From there she spend way too long talking about her two snakes Sawney and Bean and nobody should have to deal with her voice that early in the morning. In fact i'm not even sure how i put up with her in the first place. I guess I have just learned to deal with the fact she will always be glued to my side. Once upon a time I would have laughed if you were to tell me this lunatic would be my best friend, but here we are now. Though I will never admit it to her, I am grateful that I have her in my life. Everybody needs someone to hold onto in life, including me apparently.  Not that I would rely on her for anything to serious, that clown would tell the world if I, 'Levi the straight faced grump' were to show even the slightest bit of human emotion.

So its now 10.34 and she has been here talking my ears off for over 3 hours already so I stand and make my way towards the kitchen to get myself some caffeine because god knows I'm going to need it if Hanji is going to stay any minute longer. I grab my favorite mug from the cupboard and shake my head slightly to myself because Hanji is still speaking in the next room not even noticing that I am no longer there. I decide on a simple blend of tea today and add a small spoon of honey to give a slight punch to the flavor. Knowing that Hanji won't want a glass of tea I walk back down and make myself comfortable on the opposite end of the couch and take a sip of tea. Boiling water or not, it never seemed to bother me much. Looking over the rim of my mug my eyes met Hanji's and i noticed she had finally stopped talking. 

Still I knew that Hanji must have had some reason for being here and I had an idea about what it might be so I took a second sip of tea and placed it down on the coaster on the small wooden table.

"Okay out with it Shitty glasses. Why are you here?" 

"Can i not come chat with my favorite midget?" I glare across at her for targeting my height and I see a grin spread across her face.

"No. Definitely not at this time of the morning either."

"Don't be such a sour puss Levi, you and I both know you weren't planning to do much today."

"That doesn't mean you can come and barge in you lunatic."

"I didn't barge in, if I recall you opened the door yourself Levi."

"Fuck you Hanji."

"No thanks, I'm taken like bacon."

"Excuse me?"

"Taken, like bacon Levi. Isn't that great!"

"Um..."

"Look never mind just tell me about the latest job that's got you little panties in a twist." Remembering back to the day I had, sitting by the computer, clicking away trying to unlock the secrets. Just a little clue was all I needed, but did I get anything, no. Hours I spent trying to get past security keys only to get set back by another block. It was ridiculous, never had I struggled once to find the information I had been searching for and to be honest with you, I was a little stumped at where to go from here. So instead of trying to explain to Hanji what the problem was I pulled out my phone and handed it to her, the latest video posted already on the screen. 

Without a word she pressed the play button and the boys voice filtered through the speakers of the phone, and even with the crappy quality of the speakers the voice melted through my ears, and it frustrated me because the voice struck a chord in me. I had no idea why but I felt like I was missing something really important. I took a brief glance across at Hanji to see a smirk slowly creeping across her face. 

"What the fuck is with that creepy face four eyes?"

"Oh me, its nothing don't worry you're little ass Levi."

"Excuse me?"

"Just shh, let me watch this beauty do his stuff." Silently we watched the clip until the first of the boys tears could be seen slipping down his cheeks, this is where I stood up and made my way into the kitchen and turned on the kettle after filling it with fresh water. I ran my hand through my hair as I lent back against the counter waiting for the water. I just couldn't crack anything about this case at all, everything seemed to eerily familiar to me but it also felt just out of my reach and I hated it. Hated not knowing what I could do to solve this dilemma. In the other room I could hear Hanji getting up and moving towards the kitchen.

"Levi you really are a fool."  _A fool, well excuse me._

"Excuse you?"

"It'll fall into place you'll see."

"What does that even mean Hanji?"

"Wait and see my little man."

"Fuck you I'm not little."

"No you are right, you're fun sized. Am I right?" I felt my eye twitch and just as I was about to lung at the woman the kettle decided to go off. And nothing gets between me and my tea, so Hanji will get to survive another day. Or at least until I've had my fill of tea for the afternoon.

"Have I ever told you I hate you." I pulled out two glasses from out of the overhead cupboard and set them down on the counter before adding the water and tea mix to my cup and adding to heaped spoonfuls of hot chocolate to the other as well as shit ton of sugar. How she takes a sweet drink with even more sweetness added in I will never know.

"Many a times Levi, but you and I both know you don't actually mean it. In fact I would say you are quite fond of my company."

"Tsh."

"Oh is that agreement I hear?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself shitty glasses." I held out a cup to the woman and she took it with a thankful smile across her face.

"Careful Levi or I might think you have a soft side after all."

"Fuck you, all I did was give you some tea." 

"Awh you do love me."

"For all you know you shit I could have poisoned it while you weren't looking."

"You wouldn't do that to me, I'm your best friend."

"I wouldn't hold your breath Hanji." 

"If you say so, but just incase I'm actually pretty good at holding my breath. Did you know this one time I went to the pool with molbit and we decided to see who could hold our breaths for the longest and when we went to do it some lifeguard came over and asked us why we were in the kids pool and..."

"For the love of god Hanji, shut up. I get it. You can hold your breath."

"That wasn't even what the point was going to be Levi."

"Oh well."

"Meany."

"Deal with it." Hanji proceeded to pock her tongue out at me like the immature child that she is as the phone went off. And judging by the power ranger tune that rung through the kitchen the phone belonged to Hanji and not me. I watched with my eyebrow raised as she rushed to pull her phone from her pocket with such an incredible speed.

"Who is it?" Hanji raised her gaze and smirked at me, a devilish smirk like she knew something I didn't.

"It's Armin, wants to know if we can go and check on Eren because he isn't answering his phone."

"Eren? Isn't that kid old enough to look after himself?"

"I think it would be best if we go and look just in case."

"Why is the brat going to burn down the house in Armin's absence or something?"

"That isn't what I'm worried about."

"Is there something to worry about Hanji?"

"We won't know unless we go and look."

"Why do I feel like there is more to this than you are letting on."

"Because maybe there is."

"Then will you please let me know what the fuck is going on here because I am getting really confused right now."

"I would Levi, but it isn't something you should hear from me. In fact I guess it isn't something that I should know about in the first place."

"Fucking hell what did you get yourself involved in this time glasses?"

"Nothing that bad little man." Again that suspicious look appeared across her face, even it it was just for a second I saw it. And I wanted in on what it was about. "Anyways... Lets go visit our little brunette friend."

"Can I at least have another Mug of tea first?"

"Levi, seriously."

"Fine I'll make one to go then. Grab my flask mug thingo." She opened up the cupboards and started searching before pulling out a deep blue mug and plastic lid.

"This one?"

"Yeah it'll do, thanks."

5 minutes later, with the carry mug of tea in one hand and my wallet and phone in the other we walked out of the door and hoped into the car for the short drive to the brats house, yet again. 

 

By the time we arrived the the kids house the sky outside had long since grown dark and the sun couldn't been seen from behind the clouds anymore. Even though the light was fading it was only about 1.30 and I could tell there was probably a storm headed this way. Though the taste of storm was in the air it was an eerily calm afternoon and it brought the hairs on the ends of my arms on end. 

The drive had been somewhat silent as well, and having silence from one of the worlds noisiest beings brought a bought worry in the pits of my stomach that lurched as we stepped out of the car and looked up at the house. All the lights seemed to be out and the curtains of the brats room were closed, so turned towards Hanji with doubt lacing my voice.

"Are you sure he is even here" doesn't look like there is anyone in."

"He's in."

"All the lights are out Hanji."

"He is in." The way she spoke those three words sounded laced with worry but also certainty that she was right so I just nodded and followed her towards the steps of the house where I continued to wait as she knocked.

And as she knocked a second time, followed by a third.

"Hanji..."

"I've got a key."

"You have a key." 

"I've got a key."

"Why?"

"Armin gave it to me."

"Armin did?"

"Yeah." She looked up towards the brats room and I noticed the look of worry on her face once more so I brought a hand to her shoulder and squeezed slightly. It was the best form of comfort she was going to get from me and I could tell she appreciated it at that moment my the slight smile that creeped into the corners of her mouth.

"Go on glasses, open sesame then."

"Levi, you really are a loser you know that,"

"I'm charmed. Now open this god damn door."

"Yes sir." Searching through her bag Hanji pulled out a small key hung on a green lanyard and dangled it in font of me with a smile. "Here we go, the golden treasure." 

"Hmm." Hanji slipped the key into the lock and turned and the front door opened and we crept in and closed it behind us. I slipped off my shoes and looked around at my surroundings whilst Hanji walking in like she had been here a billion times before. It was quite a plain looking house but at the same time it had that strong feeling of home, it was nice. I found myself following after Hanji to see her standing at the bottom of a flight of stairs.

"Eren's room is upstairs."

"You going to go up then? I'll wait down here if you want me to."

"Levi..."

"Really Hanji its fine go do what you have to do. I'll just wait down here if you need anything just call out you dummy."

"...Okay. But just wait inside okay."

"I already said I would stupid glasses, now scram." With that she started making her way up the flight of stairs and I turned around and walked into what I presumed was the living room and sat down on one end of a rather worn looking couch. The living room was decorated with a many photographs with Eren and Armin and another girl who i presumed was Mikasa. According to Hanji Mikasa was the mother hen of the trio and was the one who held them together. The idea reminded me a lot of Hanji. There was a small television against the wall, nothing fancy just the basics. The room had a round white rug with a small glass table on top in the center of the room, with an empty mug left sitting there. Picking up the mug I had my way through the base level of the house until  I found the kitchen and I immediately looked at the rest of the dirty dishes sitting around.

Disgusting.

Without much of a thought I turned on the water and started to fill the sink, conventionally the dish washing liquid was within eye sight so I grabbed that and added it in as well.  _Fucking brats should do there own god damn dishes._

With the sink full I started scrubbing at the dishes until I heard Hanji calling out hysterically from upstairs.

"LEVI!" I didn't think as I dropped the dish back in the sink and ran up the slight of stairs and ran into the only room with a door open and that is when I heard the first of the sobs coming from the boy curled up in the corner of the room.

"Hanji what did you do."

"I, I just, I just tried to wake him up." I looked at the boy and I could see his whole body shaking as well as the ways his fingers were gripping tightly into his arms until the tips of his fingers were going white. The kid wasn't in a good shape. 

"Wake him up my ass, now move." I found myself acting on instinct as I pushes past the woman and walked until I was standing in front of the boy. "Eren?" He shuffled back further into the wall as a small wimpier left his lips and it broke my heart in ways I wasn't expecting. With an awakened nervousness I squatted down so I was eye level with the boy and I could make out his ragged breathing. But being focused on the boy I didn't notice Hanji come up behind me until the kids crying started to get louder.

"Eren... I didn't mean to upset you." More crying.

"Hanji."

"Levi, did I do this?" I looked at the boy then back up at my best friend and shock my head slightly.

"I'll deal with it."

"What are you going to do?"

"Hanji I think it'll be best if you go and wait downstairs for a minute okay?" Hanji looked at the boy and I could see she understood what I had meant. Her being here was making Eren worse and at the minute to calm him down she would have to go. So without another word from her she got up and left the room, I listened patiently until I heard her making her way down the stairs before I spoke to the kid again.

"She's gone Eren, its okay." Eren shock his head frantically and sniffled. Hesitantly I brought a hand and ran it through Eren's hair as he froze and sucked in a breath. I waited a minute in case he tried to push me off, but when he didn't and the crying started to slow I brought my hand to the base of his neck playing with the few strands of hair there. I didn't really know what came over me but it felt right.

"I know we didn't really get along greatly the other night kid but gee you're breaking my heart here." The boy lifted his head slightly from his arms and I could make out his eyes starting at me with doubt.

"Hey Eren."

"H Hello..." A wave of relief washed through me after hearing the kid speak, and through there were still tears in his eyes the crying had almost stopped. Still whit my hand at the base of his neck I gave the kid a small smile and judging by the way his eyes widened he didn't miss it. 

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine..." The kid cast his eyes down.

"Somehow I feel like your lying to me kid." Again I felt Eren freeze up under my hand but before I could give him a chance to speak I continued. "It's okay kid you don't have to tell me anything."

"Sorry."

"You don't need to apologise about it,"

"Okay."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Uh... Its not really something I can really talk about."

"That's fine but do you at least want to get up off the floor."

"Yeah that would be good actually, I can't really feel my legs." Moving my hand away from the boys neck I couldn't help but notice the look of disappointment cross his face as we both started to pull ourselves up from the floor. "Um, thanks Levi."

"Don't worry about it kid it's..." I looked at Eren again and I noticed how red his eyes were, one more so than the other.

"Its?"

"It's fine, but kid you're eye is a bit red." 

"My... my eye." Eren bought a hand up to his face quickly and I regretted bring it up because I must have hit a sore point for him or something. 

"Well technically they are both pretty red since you were crying and all."

"Sorry..."

"Eren really it's fine don't stress so much, if you need to go to the bathroom and rinse your face."

"My face?"

"You have dried tears down you checks Eren, it'll make you feel better as well."

"Oh, okay I'll... I'll do that..." The boy looked down at his feet for a moment glancing back up at me only to retreat back to the floor after meeting my gaze.

"Eren?"

"Could you maybe wait here for me though?" I raised an eye in question at the him but I decided not to question him any further and just nodded my head slightly.

"Sure kid."

"I'll be just a moment then." With that the kid went towards the bathroom and I heard the tap turning on.  _Good he listened._ Within a few minutes he was walking back into the room looking much more refreshed than he was a few minutes ago when he was curled into a ball in the corner of the room. His eyes were no longer red and his skin had a healthier glow to it than it did before. 

"Feeling any better?"

"Yeah thanks, guess we better go check on Hanji then?"

"Shit, god knows what she has done in our moments of absence."

"She can't be that bad."

"Don't hold you're breath kid."

Thankful when we got downstairs we found Hanji sitting on the couch but what worried me was the way she was staring intently at the wall in front of her. She felt responsible for hat had happened and I knew that much so I nudged Eren and he looked up at me and nodded before walking to Hanji and seating himself down next to her.

"Hanji?"

"Eren?"

"Thank you for coming over to..."  Without wanting to intrude on their conversation I walked back to the kitchen and got right back to the cleaning, trying to distract myself from the boys cries that were still echoing through my head. It made me wonder just what had upset him so much that it brought him into the almost hysterical crying state. Then again I guess it wasn't my business and if Eren didn't want to tell me then that would be fine. We had only just met after all so it wouldn't be fair of me to interrogate him about it. Still I couldn't help the sinking feeling in my gut that Hanji was hiding something from me. 

Putting the last dish onto the drier I went in search of a tea towel which was luckily hanging along the railing of the oven door. As I began drying I almost missed the sound of footsteps behind me.

"Really Levi?"

"Hm?" I turned my head slightly to see both Hanji and Eren standing in the doorway, Hanji with both hands on her hips and pulling a disturbing face to say the least and Eren with a face of almost curiosity. Looking closer you wouldn't have been able to tell he had been so upset earlier and it bothered me how easily he was able to put a mask back on already. 

"Seriously you're doing their washing up."

"Its not my fault they don't know how to do it themselves." 

"Don't be rude Levi, not everyone lives up to your cleaning standards."

"Tsh."

"Levi you bleached your kitchen floor yesterday."

"Yeah so?" 

"Twice." I heard a snicker coming from Eren's direction so I narrowed my eyes in his direction to try and shut him up, but instead the kid broke into laughter which was soon followed by Hanji also laughing. I put the tea towel back along the oven railing and waited until their laughter resided before clearing my throat.

"Well I'm glad you to are having fun and all but I am hungry and I would like to go home and have a mug of tea."

"Alright sounds good to me, what about you Eren?"

"Me? Um... yeah i guess that would be nice."

"That's fine with you isn't it Levi. If Eren comes back to?"

"Tsh" 

"I don't really have to Levi, um if its a bother..." Eren once again looked down to his feet and I sighed slightly.

"You can come kid just make sure you take your shoes off at the door, and don't make a mess."

"Oh... okay." 

"Well I guess I'll leave Eren to you then for the night Levi." Leave him to me... What? As if sensing my confusion Hanji continued. "I promised Armin I'd make sure he was okay and that he wasn't alone, but I have work see so I thought it would be okay if he stayed with you for tonight..."

I sucked in a deep breath and looked at the boy, even without the tears I could just begin to see his mask wavering once again so without thinking about it too hard I agreed to take the kid home and before I knew it, we had dropped Hanji off at home to get ready for work and we were off towards my house. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
